(Closed) Rings: prices, priorities, involvement, used rings

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

I think you can get a great ring at a lower price and no one will know the difference if it’s used or not. My fiance proposed to me with a fake ring he got from Nordstrom and told me about 3 minutes after proposing that it was fake (something didn’t look quite right) and that he had money saved for me to pick out my own ring. I loved this becuase I am a bargain hunter and I know that I would have been upset if he spent a ton on a ring from the chain stores. My budget for a ring was above the 10k range BUT I still love a great deal and I shop frequently on ebay to get great deals becasue I am a jewelry whore. While my ring didn’t come from there I had it made,  I don’t see the point in paying for something when used or resale is 80% off the original price. Go to a few different stores find the styles that you like and then get on ebay and see what amazing deals you can find. There are SO many rings that go for such reasonable prices compared to retail I wish I could buy them all. 

Post # 3
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’m fine to discuss specifics I think women do themselves a diservice when they don’t talk about money. We spent about 45k between my ering and our wedding bands. If it’s helpful to you I’d be fine to tell you all my stone specs and what we spent on each thing to the penny. 

I chose everything but we worked on the design of my ering together, he always calls it “our” ring and it melts my heart. My ering and wedding bands are the most important pieces of jewelery and probably possessions in my life. We spent two months of his salary. It was the max we could afford but I never want to upgrade I’m so attached to my rings. 

For your budget I think you need to think about a plainer band or possibly a pave wedding band. I think your budget is fine.  I would only spend what I could pay for outright. I would try not to finance such an essentially luxury purchase. We didn’t discuss money as much due to the fact we had only known each other about two months, it was a little awkward…lol Basically, I showed him stones that were a good value then he told me I could pick the one I wanted. I completely LOVED the faceting pattern on my stone and although it was at the higher end of price range he said I could have it. He loves to show the ring off more than I do…lol

650 is somewhat of a limiting budget only because of the price of the setting especially if you don’t care for solitaire rings. You are lucky to have such narrow fingers (I’m so jealous). I’m not a fan of moissy because I find they can have an unusual color. CZ’s are fine but they will need to be replaced every so often. 

A preowned ring can be an excellent money saving option and I would have absolutely purchased such an item because I love antique jewelery. The issue is that getting a piece appraised will take a hefty chunk out of your budget and may further limit what you can afford. I would recommend Costco.com They have an extensive jewelry selection of not just diamonds and you may find something you love. 

Post # 4
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - WHO KNOWS!!!

We knew we wanted to get married and from there our conversations evolved. The first one was budget, he mentioned what he thought then asked me, I voiced my opinion of what I thought. That was really the end of that conversation. Then a week or two later in bed one night I mentioned glancing at rings online, he asked me to show him. So I did. Then a bit longer and he said we should go to stores together. From there I started researching and learning everything I could. We went to lots of stores and viewed hundreds of diamonds/rings online. Once we both realized what we could get for the money we had a very serious discussion together about the final budget which came from his savings. I will say in the end we spent 3x the amount he originally named, this was mostly his decision as I was very unsure of spending that much on a ring. We did rationalize it as he had the cash and this is our forever ring- no upgrades. Soooo to answer the question I was very involved! Not what we intended but I’m so glad I was. He’s not a researcher or bargain shopper so it just made sense for me to be a part of it. Plus we like to discuss everything, we make serious effort to have a very balanced relationship.

Post # 5
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have picked all my rings- the temp one, the real one, and the upgrade. We discussed budget for all three. You don’t say whether you are partial to a certain stone, so I think that is going to make a huge impact on what you can buy for that budget. If you don’t want solitaire, and you don’t want tiny, you aren’t going to find much of a diamond selection under $650, unless you want some sort of small cluster. But if you want gemstone or moissanite, I think you should be able to find something used but nice in your budget. Check pawn shops and Etsy.

Post # 6
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

 

View original reply
wildflower3:  

Yes, we discussed it. But I was surprised at how much input he wanted to have, and I respected his wishes about several things contrary to my preferences.

For us, some of the larger issues included: 1) our frugal lifestyle outweighed any “2mos’ salary” standard, and 2) our working with the underprivileged made wearing a pricier piece too much of a liability, both physically and emotionally, and 3) my desire to acquire stackers over time for different life events affected our approach to any singular piece, among other factors.

Through the years, I’ve found that we were right to consider both our sense and sensibility about marital bling.

Just my $0.02.

Happy shopping!

Post # 7
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

I wanted a say in the ring because I’m the one who is wearing it and my partner knew that ahead of time because we had discussed it. Taste aside, for me it has to be functional because I use my hands a lot and won’t always remember to take off my ring.  The cost is also split because it came out of our joint savings that we both contribute equal amounts to, and I am very happy with that. It makes it “our” ring, and we had fun picking it out together. In terms of cost I always think people should spend what they’re comfortable with (whether that’s more or less depending on their priorities), and for us it was an easy intersection.  The ring I really wanted ended up costing a bit less than the equivalent of a single paycheque for either of us, or basically one week of salary each. I don’t have a photo yet.  If you’re leaning towards less expensive rings and don’t necessarily care about having a diamond (I didn’t want one myself) then it opens up a lot of options. 

Post # 9
Member
6 posts
Newbee

It is soooo not the price of the ring or the fact of wether it’s used or new!  It’s the meaning behind it plain and simple…the fact that you two love each other and are going to spend the rest of your lives together!

My set is actually from my divorced grandma…my mom gave it to me at a family funeral to pass it on and I absolutely love the fact that even though they’re not together now, my grandparents marriage set off a chain of events leading to where I am today…it’s sentimental to me.

My best friends wedding set is a $500 set from an antique store.  She wanted something vintage and different not big and flashy and she absolutely LOVES it

 

 

Post # 10
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
wildflower3:  We are currently in college and money is pretty tight. My boyfriend and I have talked about what we both like and what we thought was a reasonable price and I (as a fellow “cheapskate” and bargain hunter) went looking to see where he would get the most for his money. So many stores try to rip men off because they don’t know what they are looking for. It is important to me that the ring he propose with is my forever ring, luckily I also have simple taste so it wasn’t too hard. I sent him my favorite store where I knew he couldn’t go wrong and we got my finger sized, we’ve done all this and I know he hasn’t been able to order the ring yet but I’m hoping he will propose by our next Anniversary: ) also out budget was between $250 and $600 max

Oh and as for used rings it doesn’t bother me in theory, but I do worry about the bad energy that could come from another person relationship so we decided it wasn’t for us.

Good luck! 

Post # 12
Member
3956 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2007 - City, State

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Post # 14
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

My Fiance spent some time ring shopping with me. I did a lot of looking without him though. He gave a little input, but ultimately wanted me to pick it out. I was there when he ordered the ring. 

We talked about a budget before I looked at anything. I decided to go with a moissonite, because I was able to see one in person and didn’t want him to invest so much money in a diamond. 

For the most part I consider it something he bought for me. However, we did talk a lot about the fact that any money that went into the ring is money that he wouldn’t have to put toward the wedding or a house so it was also kind of a joint decision. 

For the record I’m really happy with my moissonite and think that I’d feel uncomfortable if he had spent more for a diamond. 

Post # 15
Member
6263 posts
Bee Keeper

Did you discuss the budget/expectations for the ring?

Nope he asked me what I liked. He knew his budget. He upped it as he found a corker with amazing value.

Did you help pick it out?

Yes we went ring shopping lots to try styles. He asked me about various diamonds he found online. He did a lot of research research regarding the 4 Cs. He found one by chance with a diamond dealer in the end (we’d gone to see a different ring)

Did you contribute any money towards it?

no

Did you know he wanted to propose?

yes

Did you feel disappointed in any way with what he spent, whether it was too much or too little?

no. I am very proud at all his research and the fact he found something sugh good value (in diamond terms).  I don’t know what he paid for it exactly as he did the deal but I know he was extremely pleased with the independent valuation we had done afterwards. I would have been mortified if he’d spent his money at a bricks and mortar store. 

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