- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Ok, so… I am feeling awful about this, and I just can’t seem to move past it. Sorry for the long post, but it’s kind of complicated:
2 1/2 years ago my fiance proposed to me, which was 100% a surprise to me and only me. He had taken the time to talk to most of my family and friends, shopped for more than 6 months for a ring, and even went to my father’s mother, sister & her husband (my aunt & uncle), and my great aunt (my grandma’s sister), and asked for their blessing before proposing (my father passed before we met).
It was incredibly romantic, and the ring he chose fits my personality and style PERFECTLY. I LOVE LOVE LOOOOVE my ring, and have from the moment I saw it. It’s not a “traditional” engagement ring… but then, I’m not a traditional bride.
Anyway, fastforward to the wedding planning stage, and we started talking about bands… Originally, I didn’t even want a new ring. I am happy with the one I have, I adore it– why should I get a new one just because I’m “supposed” to?!? Well, my groom-to-be really wanted me to have a new ring, and since there aren’t a whole lot of things he has much of an opinion on, I agreed to at least look… Well, a few months in I still hadn’t found anything, since my ring isn’t traditional I was finding it impossible to match something with it, and again, I did NOT want to give it up.
After a long search, one jeweler recommended I consider having a ring made, since I was having so much trouble– I considered the idea, and chatted with the goldsmith & my fiance, and we decided to give it a try, we were going to make 2 thin bands that could be placed on either side of my e-ring. Originally, my self-imposed budget was $2,000; because I really just didn’t feel comfortable spending more than that… The goldsmith wrote the qoute and said he just couldn’t do it for less than $3,000. I was ready to scrap the idea, but Groom wanted to do it. He said he was find spending WAY more than that (money that admittidly, we do have to spend)… I was a little hesitant, but seeing as how it was a custom ring, I expected to love it, so I agreed…
Well, the rings have been made, they are 100% paid for, and I don’t like them… not one bit… When placed with my e-ring it’s too wide on my hand and my finger looks fat and pudgy (and no, this is not self depricating, I’ve had many people agree) and by themselves they are OK, but not really anything special.
So– to explain my delemma– I am devistated. These rings were the single largest expenditure for our wedding, and I don’t even LIKE them… let alone love them enough to wear them every day for the rest of my life. I cried for about 2 hours when I picked them up, because I was so sure that having them made would make them perfect (stupid, I know). I told my fiance that I don’t like them, and he seemed to handle it well– he immediately said we should keep looking/shopping and find something that I do love. But I really just don’t WANT to… I love my e-ring, it’s beautiful, and looks more like a wedding band anyway. How do I tell him that I just don’t want a new ring, when it seems so important to him???