(Closed) Robes Not Considered A Gift??? Explanation Needed!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 47
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

So many bitter and picky BMs it seems like… Wow.

 

personally I’d be thrilled just to be in a friends wedding and wouldn’t expect a gift at all. Anything that was bought for me, be it for pictures or whatever, would be fun and great to me, too. I’d be sharing in the excitement of my friend’s special day… Not being nit-picky about what they bought ME for THEIR wedding. Geeze. A handwritten, heartfelt Thank You note would be plenty for me. 

Post # 48
Member
47423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
rrenee: Careful not to hurt yourself- patting yourself on the back while simultaneously calling other Bees names.

Bees are simply answering the questions the OP asked. She didn’t ask ” Who would be happy with no gift?” If you want to decide the question, and change the whole discussion, you’ll have to start your own thread.

Post # 49
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
julies1949:  she said “let me know your thoughts”

 

I felt it was appropriate I share my thoughts. Thanks

Post # 50
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I think of it more like this…..is buying that many robes that they may or may not wear again (not like they’ll ever tell you) really worth the money, just for a picture or two? I just think it’s so overdone. Just my $0.02

Post # 51
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

I was in my cousins wedding and she got us all bracelets. and she got her moh the silk robe as well. Honestly I’m not a jewelry person so I was so jealous because I wanted the robe too. Haha! I think robes are great! They’re beautiful and id totally rock that on lazy days at home. 

Post # 52
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - pier 5 hotel

I think a gift card is tacky to be honest…anyway I’m getting my bms robes bc they all asked for them (which I thought was weird bc who tells someone what they want for a present but w/e) I’m doing big fluffy cotton Terry cloth ones bc I think the short silk ones are ugly and I know none of my girls would like those. I’m also paying for hair, got them jewlery, beach bags and getting them each a personal Alex and ani bracelet. 

Post # 53
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would love a robe as a gift. I’ve been in 2 weddings as the Maid/Matron of Honor and didn’t expect a gift for either of them. You don’t agree to be in a wedding for the gifts. As Maid/Matron of Honor in those weddings I understood what my role was and also understood how much the bride and groom already had to pay for. It’s not a job, it’s something you enter into because you love your friend. A monogrammed robe is a lovely gift and I would be super excited to get it 

Post # 55
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
maritimebride2016:  This is exactly what I was trying to get at. 

I feel like anything extra you get is just a bonus! Will I get my bridesmaids gifts other than a robe? Probably. But if I felt like they EXPECTED it or if I knew they went around afterwards saying “I was a bridesmaid and all I got was ______” I would definitely reevaluate our friendship. 🙁 

Post # 56
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - pier 5 hotel

View original reply
lwansley1016:  to me you might as well just give cash at that point

I like all your other gifts! But if u wanted to get rid of one thatd be the one the id drop not the robes.

Post # 58
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

As far as gift cards go I would like to throw in that I like to receive (and give) gift cards instead if cash sometimes simply because that way the receiver is kinda forced to “treat themselves” instead of spending on groceries, gas, etc. Which is what I end up doing sometimes if I get cash. 

Cash is practical but not as fun! Lol. 

Post # 59
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
lwansley1016:  don’t give gifts and don’t give favors at your wedding, people have enough crap so just don’t waste your money- hugs are gifts enough, your happiness and gratitude is enough

Post # 60
Member
9276 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
lwansley1016:  This is the way I see it, would you for any other gift giving occassion (their birthday, their wedding, their baby shower etc etc) give them a gift with the condition that they must use it on your wedding day? If the answer is no, and I hope it is, then how is that a gift for them.

People confuse gift etiquette. As a reciever you should be grateful for any gift (and clearly most BM’s are which is why the ridiculous trend of wedding props as gifts has gone on for so long). It woukd be rude to get an attitude over it towards the gift giver.

But when you are the gift giver other rules of etiquette, that differ from gift reciever etiquette, apply. The person who is recieving the gift should be the only thing in mind when picking a gift. I mean after all that is why wedding registries exisit right- so guests can pick a gift with the couple in mind. It seems really disingenuous to say bridal parties shoukd just be happy with the props I buy them whilst issues a list of requests to guests in order to help them get you what you want.

Also going to point out that friends and family will often tell a bride what they think they want to hear so as not to ruin their wedding experience (or be called jealous which happens a lot on here). So keep that in mind when surveying ideas with your BM’s.

The topic ‘Robes Not Considered A Gift??? Explanation Needed!’ is closed to new replies.

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