- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
I have had issues in one of my friendships and it almost ended a few months ago but we had a really good conversation and I felt like we could move on from all of our problems. I planned to go into the conversation telling her that I no longer wanted her to be a bridesmaid but decided since we mended things I would just keep my mouth shut. I wasn’t super excited about her being in the wedding at that point but I knew uninviting her as a bridesmaid would ruin everything and I thought our friendship would grow strong again. One of the big problems I had was she always blew me off and would cancel plans as I was sitting in parking lots waiting for her, she promised to put in more of an effort in the future and I cautiosly believed her. Well a few weeks ago she blew off a small house warming party that I had, I decided since it wasn’t really formal that I wouldn’t bring it up and just move on. I didn’t want to put so much pressure on her right away. Well now we are 4 months from the wedding and have to get bridesmaid dresses orderd, she is honestly part of the problem I waited this long because it was so up in the air on whether she would be in the wedding or not. I got an appointment set up about 3 weeks in advanced and was very glad that all 6 of my bridesmaid could make it. Now the appointment is in 3 days and she tells me she doesn’t have a babysitter for her boyfriend’s kids and probably won’t come. If it were any other bridesmaid I would be fine and tell them to just get in and order within a few days, no big deal. But I feel completely different about this because of our past. This is now the second time I’ve made some sort of plans with her and she was all for coming and then blows it off last minute. It’s like our talk didn’t even happen. She has even expressed to me that she probably won’t be at my bridal shower and bach. party. I know she is just supposed to be there on the day of wearing the dress but I feel like with our past she should put in a little more effort and not say 3 months in advanced there is almost no way she will be able to come to parties less than a half hour from her house. I won’t kick her out of the wedding because I honestly feel like at this point she will do it herself by not getting the dress.
Bees I don’t need advice on what to do becuase I know I won’t kick her out and things will figure itself out but how do I stop being so hurt and feeling like even though she says she cares about me when it comes time to show, she does nothing? I don’t want to always be mad at her when I know if it was anyone else I would be fine with these few occasions but I can’t help it becuase of all the hurt she has caused me. What would you do to move past these feelings?