- 10 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Is it me, or do weddings bring out the worst in people?
I dont know what to think, please tell me from an outside perspective.
My step mother has never been able to have children, she is really sensitive when it comes to children. We try and stay out of her way on mothers day. I moved in with my dad and step mom when I was 18, and lived with them for 4 years. Those four years changed my life; they taught me how to be a young mature adult lady, my stepmother means a lot to me!
Since the proposal, the dimensions of the relationship began to change. I use to go to her for everything, my bestfriend, help, life direction etc, choices. But My fiance is that person. He is the person I make decisions with. And so I have less of a need for her in my life; for that type of thing. She is a helper, and that is how we related to each other. But now I am experienced enough to make decisions and mistakes in life. For example; I asked her about a vet medicine for my cat, and she gave me info about that; but she decided to tell me what to do about my oversized dog….which I knew something had to be done, and was going to do it. She told me I was killing my animal with food, when in fact I was giving him the proper amount of food. She kept telling me to slowly introduce him back into exercising….my point is that it is my life, my decisions, I will ask you when I need help! <<<< does that sound ungreatful?
I did not know how to express this to her, I was PMSing and did not want to say anything I would regret, and so I layed low and stopped talking to her, and everybody else about wedding stuff. She took offense to this and thought I was doing it to hurt her, when in fact I tried explaining that my fiance and I want to make decisions on our own, I do appreciate the help, but I think things are changing. She was the most important person to me, she still is, but I have priorities….
Am I out of my mind, does anyone else understand how I am feeling? She will not talk to me, I apologized for hurting her feelings. I can not control her, and probably should just let her be. She does mean a lot to me, but I am not a child, I am an adult, I can make my own decisions….
I beleive it is hard to let me go, perhaps this is the way she copes….does anyone have an opinion, are my feelings valid? AM I being ungreatful? I want her in my life, are we learning how to relate with the change in roles?