(Closed) Role for FI's father's wife?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Maybe you can tell us how you want your invitation worded and then maybe we can figure out a way to include her?

Post # 6
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ah, I see.  I misunderstood because you said the father wouldn’t contribute unless she was on the invitation and you were looking for a way to include her (so I thought that meant on the invitation). 

Perhaps ask her to read something during your ceremony?  A poem?  A psalm if it’s a religious ceremony?  Ask her to give a speech (although, what is she going to say about someone she didn’t have much involvement with)? 

Personally, I would almost rather add her to the invitation than have her do something “meaningful” at the wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Can they do a reading together?

Can she do the guest book?

Can you just get her a sweet corsage?

Its ridiculous to haveIto include her if you don’t want to, but maybe something small.

Im obviously clueless, thank god we are eloping.  But, I’m trying to think.

 

Post # 8
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@axeyourmakeupkit:  This.  I’d just get her a corsage and call it a day.

Post # 9
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would pay for the wedding myself then. Your fiance’s dad is being ridiculous.

Post # 10
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@futuremrsk18:  Personally, I would almost rather add her to the invitation than have her do something “meaningful” at the wedding.

+1!!!

Since your fiance’s dad’s money is also his wife’s money, it makes sense he wouldn’t contribute unless you comply. Though, I will say I think it’s PRETTY manipulative to hold money over your head like that. Still, I’d do that small gesture unless I hated the woman. It just sounds like his dad got re-married after your Fiance had already grown up. It’s a different story if she was the evil stepmom.

If your parents are still together I’d say “Mr. and Mrs. (your dad’s full name) and Mr. and Mrs. (fiance’s father’s full name) and Ms. (your fiance’s mom’s name) invite you…”

And then address them both when you write the thank you note for the check.


Post # 11
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

@missjuli:  This:“Mr. and Mrs. (your dad’s full name) and Mr. and Mrs. (fiance’s father’s full name) and Ms. (your fiance’s mom’s name) invite you…” kind of works, except his mother should go first. His mother should come before the new wife. 

 

Honestly, why don’t you leave parents’ names off? That way no one is offended. Just say “Your name & His name, Together with their parents”…

Or have your Fiance talk to the step-mom. She might be willing to bow out gracefully. 

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