Post # 1
Hey Bees, me and my Fiance are trying to come up with a way to appease my FI’s father regarding our wedding. He really wants his wife of 2 years included in our wedding in some way, but me and my Fiance feel it is not her place. If you read my other post from last week, my FI’s father basically said he won’t be contributing to our wedding if she is not on the invitiation, so we’re trying to come up with a compromise that will keep everybody happy. We want to include her but not “honor” her in any way because she is not his mother and has played zero role in my FI’s life. So out of respect for his mother we don’t want to act like shes been a part of his life, and out of respect for his father we want to find a way to include her in some small way. Any ideas in how we can do this?
Post # 3
bump….somebody please help
Post # 4
Maybe you can tell us how you want your invitation worded and then maybe we can figure out a way to include her?
Post # 5
No, we don’t want her on the invitation. Thats the issue, we want to find another way to include her in something, without putting her name on the invitiation.
Post # 6
Ah, I see. I misunderstood because you said the father wouldn’t contribute unless she was on the invitation and you were looking for a way to include her (so I thought that meant on the invitation).
Perhaps ask her to read something during your ceremony? A poem? A psalm if it’s a religious ceremony? Ask her to give a speech (although, what is she going to say about someone she didn’t have much involvement with)?
Personally, I would almost rather add her to the invitation than have her do something “meaningful” at the wedding.
Post # 7
Can they do a reading together?
Can she do the guest book?
Can you just get her a sweet corsage?
Its ridiculous to haveIto include her if you don’t want to, but maybe something small.
Im obviously clueless, thank god we are eloping. But, I’m trying to think.
Post # 8
@axeyourmakeupkit: This. I’d just get her a corsage and call it a day.
Post # 9
I would pay for the wedding myself then. Your fiance’s dad is being ridiculous.
Post # 10
@futuremrsk18: Personally, I would almost rather add her to the invitation than have her do something “meaningful” at the wedding.
Since your fiance’s dad’s money is also his wife’s money, it makes sense he wouldn’t contribute unless you comply. Though, I will say I think it’s PRETTY manipulative to hold money over your head like that. Still, I’d do that small gesture unless I hated the woman. It just sounds like his dad got re-married after your Fiance had already grown up. It’s a different story if she was the evil stepmom.
If your parents are still together I’d say “Mr. and Mrs. (your dad’s full name) and Mr. and Mrs. (fiance’s father’s full name) and Ms. (your fiance’s mom’s name) invite you…”
And then address them both when you write the thank you note for the check.
Post # 11
@missjuli: This:“Mr. and Mrs. (your dad’s full name) and Mr. and Mrs. (fiance’s father’s full name) and Ms. (your fiance’s mom’s name) invite you…” kind of works, except his mother should go first. His mother should come before the new wife.
Honestly, why don’t you leave parents’ names off? That way no one is offended. Just say “Your name & His name, Together with their parents”…
Or have your Fiance talk to the step-mom. She might be willing to bow out gracefully.