(Closed) Role for life-long male friend in wedding

posted 4 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 16
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2022 - Maui

can you just talk to him? see which one he prefers? 

Post # 17
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

My best friend is a guy and he’s going to be my Man of Honour smile

Post # 18
3802 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Ask him. 

If he doesn’t want to be in the bridal party you could just give him a seat of honour in the front row. 

Post # 19
9262 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
bear123 :  Are you as close with him as you are with your girlfriends? You can know someone since birth and be friendly without necessarily being BFFs, and if that’s the case, inviting him as a guest should be enough. I know bridesmen are popular and if someone has a BFF who’s a guy it makes sense. If it feels natural to ask someone to be in your bridal party or to be a reader etc, that’s a hint that you should ask them. If nothing feels natural and you have to try to find some role for them, that’s a hint that you should invite them as a guest. 

Post # 20
603 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
bear123 :  My sister had a bridesman in her wedding and then returned the favor as a groomsgirl to him the following year. Not sure why you think he would be uncomfortable, or rather people you have mentioned it to would?

I would just ask and if he seems uncomfortable, ask if he would be more comfortable doing a reading?

Post # 22
6963 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
bear123 :  Okay well you’re not going to know unless you talk to him. If you really are that close just talking to him about this shouldn’t be a big deal. 

Post # 24
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

 I am having my best male friend be an usher and MC with a mutual male friend of my Fiances and I’s as we love them both dearly but thought it would be weird if we had them walk down the isle together lol. So an Usher is another good option

Post # 25
44 posts
  • Wedding: October 2018

How about him being your witness? Yknow the guy who signs the marriage license on your side?

That’s what I’m doing. I originally wanted a good friend as my Man of Honour, but people were being asshats telling him it’s “gay” (boohoo, so bad -.-) and such and he felt uncomfortable about that then. Now I’m not having a Maid/Matron of Honor, we’re all equal, but he’ll be there as my witness to sign the papers.

The same thing was done at a friend’s wedding, though here a girl was too shy to be a bridesmaid, so she was made a witness and there wasn’t as much attention on her.

If something like that is possible for you, it would be an alternative.

Post # 26
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
bear123 :  there are lots of ways he can be part of your day without playing a big role ( if he or your fiancé is uncomfortable) he could be the one to drive you to the ceremony, if he plays an instrument he could play a song for you, if he’s crafty he can design a special piece of decor for your head table. I think for us to best help with suggestions we would need to know if it is because he’s shy or there’s an issue between he and your fiancé – you said there were a few factors. I personally think a reading is very sweet. You could even let him choose one. 

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