(Closed) Role of the MOH?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

“…attends dress shopping appointments and/or first fitting appointments; attends Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping appointments; coordinates with all BMs for everything wedding-related; helps out with whatever she can whenever necessary (any DIY stuff? she should be there for that, etc);”

These I don’t really agree with.  My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she didn’t come to my fitting appointments.  And I have no intention of coming to hers.  I think the brides should coordinate with the BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor for anything wedding related.  I think the Maid/Matron of Honor should only be expected to coordinate the shower and bachelorette party.  And I did a ton of DIY and I would never have asked my BMs to help.  It’s stuff that I wanted to do, and they shouldn’t have to burn their fingers on a hot glue gun because I wanted some fancy little favor thing.

Post # 5
1330 posts
Bumble bee

I was recently a Maid/Matron of Honor and I did the following:

attended all dress shopping runs-helped bride pick dress

Attended meeting with caterer and hall, helped be sounding board for advice

Helped with choosing invites, decor

Paid for my own dress and shoes

Assisted with all set up and decor of wedding/tear down/last minute errands

Assisted with running trips to florist/malls for bride

Drove girls to venue

Insisted the bride and groom have their first dance…lol..they were having a lot of fun and helpt forgetting to do it, so I intervened 🙂



Post # 6
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My Maid/Matron of Honor is my little sister who lives in a different state than me. All of my BMs will be out of state too. I won’t be expecting any of them to help out with any wedding stuff. (I’m probably too much of a control-freak to delegate anyway.) However, if I was a Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid or Best Man I’d be super excited for my friend and would want to help out as much as possible, but I don’t think it should be expected. I find that friendships get ruined when a bride expects their Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs to basically take on a part-time job. I think being part of the wedding should be an honor and represents the closeness of a friendship. 

Post # 7
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@futuremrsk18:  I would help my friends with DIY because I enjoy crafts.  However, I know my friends don’t like stuff like that, so I know I would be forcing them to do it.  And they would do it in the name of friendship, but I just don’t think they should have to.

Post # 12
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, I think the involvement depends on what the bride wants and what the girls want.  If you need them to be there for you more, I think you need to let them know when you ask.  I think this is what causes the posts saying “MOH is MIA!” and “Bridesmaids letting me down.”

Personally, I had them more for sounding boards and they helped me stuff invitations.  That’s all I wanted!  I’m waaaay too controlling, LoL!  In lieu of the Bridal shower, I asked them to co-host a couples shower with the rest of the wedding party.  It was a blast!  One of my mom’s friends hosted the Bridal Shower.

Post # 14
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It all depends on how much help the bride needs, and who else she has around her to help. A lot of the things that people say are the MOH’s duty, I personally think are mother of the bride things? I just told my friend, “whatever you want, I’ll do it” and I did, and I loved it. I’d like to think I was supportive for her, but reading the huuugeee expectations of some brides make me think I was a terrible MOH!

For me, I’ll be happy if my BMs are there for me on the morning of the wedding, and bring wine to calm my nerves!!

Post # 15
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The bride and groom are responsible for wedding planning.  If the bridesmaids or groomsmen ask to help with DIY, setup, etc, that is a great bonus, but is by no means required.

Showers and bachelorettes are gifts to the bride, and like all gifts are not required.  If MOHs/bridesmaids decide to throw these parties, they should plan what they can afford and the bride should be graciously accepting.  Yes, the bride can give input (spa day, night out, no strippers, etc) but cannot, for example, throw a fit if she wanted to go to Vegas and the Bridal Party can only afford a night in a close-by city.

The bridal party is responsible for attire purchasing.  The bride may pick it out, but only after getting budgetary info from each party member individually.  If the dresses go over someone’s budget, the bride should pay the difference or choose a different dress.  Shoes are up in the air.  If it is something a bridesmaid is likely to wear again or have in her closet (i.e., bride gives a color as a guideline) that is fine, but if the bride requires something very specific, she should pay.

Hair and makeup are the bridesmaid’s responsibility if the bride allows them to choose between professional styleing and personal styiing (i.e. doing it themselves).  If the bride requires pro styling for hair or makeup, she foots the bill.

Post # 16
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

@futuremrsfitz18:  +1

some people are not thankful at all. and should remember that TRADITION and REQUIREMENTS are 2 different things.

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