Post # 1
I have a delimma and I need some help please! My fiance and I are getting married on October 18. We have all of the bridesmaids/groomsmen picked out. One of my bridesmaids will be his 11 year old daughter. We both want her to feel special and important, as she is a large key is this marriage also. That being said – we have decided that she will be a Jr. Bridesmaid. She’s incredibly excited and can’t wait.
Between the two of us, we have two nephews and two nieces (and one on the way – but we don’t won’t know the gender until it is bonr in July.) Our two nephews are going to be our ring barriers. They are both 5 – 6, so it is the perfect age.
Now the problem: I don’t know what to do with our nieces. I don’t want them to feel left out because their brothers are in the ceremony and they aren’t. Our nieces are in the 4th and 5th grades – so they are too old to be flowergirls. But we don’t want them to be jr. bridesmaids either because that is reserved only for my bonus baby.
Any thoughts/ideas/opinions on what we could ask the nieces to do so that they feel like they are an important part of our day too?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA
@Bben2009: I have 2 girl cousins, one will be 13, the other almost 11 i think when i get married. I’m going to have them hand out programs/favors at the guests arrival. They’ll have matching dresses and be very important bc everyone will need this particular favor we’re doing.
Post # 4
@Bben2009: I didn’t realize there was an age limit for flower girls: 8-9 seems fine to me- they are still in elementary school. That’s where I would put them if I were in your situation. Handing out programs isn’t even close to being “in” the wedding. I would put all the brothers and sisters or none.
Post # 5
@Bben2009: my 9 y/o cousin will be my flower girl, and I was a flower girl when I was 9…it was fun! I don’t think 9 is too old for a flower girl, as long as the 9 y/o doesn’t feel like she’s too old.
Post # 6
@theEguarantee – that’s what my mom and sister told me to do. I just don’t know that they would actually stand there and do that. They may get bored and run off.
@HeartsandSparkles – My family thinks that they are too old. I guess I could ask his side of the family and see what they think though. We could have the nieces walk the new baby down the aisle (in a wagon or something of course.)
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I agree I was supposed to be a flower girl when I was 9-10 years old. Only reason I wasn’t was because my aunt and uncle eloped! I think it would be nice gesture. They’re still younger than your jr. bridesmaid, so I think it works.
Post # 8
Thanks pinapplez17 and Ms. Purple! I will talk with the girls and ask what they would like to do and go from there.
Post # 9
@Bben2009: While 8-9 is on the older range, it’s not too old.
Since they are old enough to make up their own minds, there is absolutly nothing wrong with asking them. Maybe they will want to be flower girls?
Also, at that age, any job given to them by an adult is a sacred duty that must be carried out. Handing out programs would be just fine, and they won’t run off getting bored.
Post # 10
@Bben2009: my 9 year old niece was a flower girl…and my former tutee, who was 19 at my wedding, told me SHE wanted to be a flower girl because she’d never been one before. They’re not too old and they will LOVE it.
Post # 11
@Bben2009: 8-9 is the perfect age for a flower girl. I would say 12 would be a cutoff for flower girl age (though really, I’ve heard adorable stories about grandmas as flower girls, so it all depends on your crew). I love that you’re including your fiance’s daughter in a special way too.
Post # 12
I think you’ve all convinced me that they will be just fine being flower girls. I think I may get them to walk in brother/sister pairs.
Thanks, Polygon! I plan on saying some sort of vow to her too.