(Closed) Rollercoaster ride..im getting tired of it.( its long, im sorry!!)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sorry to sound so blase about this, but it just sounds to me like the dude isn’t ready to propose to you yet.  It’s HIS choice to spend his money how he chooses at this point.

Now, it’s YOUR choice whether you stick around and wait.  It seems you’ve had conversations about getting engaged and moving forward, but things might have come to a stand still.  It’s up to you to determine if you love him enough to stay with him no matter what, or if you want to wait and see what happens, or if you want to peace out and find another path.

 

In the mean time, try not to be too upset with him, and don’t let this eat up your life.  Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i think you need to talk to him, guys are kind of dense and you need to be honest.  You don’t have to yell at him or force him to do something, but just say something along the lines of “your happiness is very important to me and if buying a bike is going to make you happy then I am all for it but you need to take my happiness and needs into consideration as well”.  I’m not sure if you have tried to talk to him about it seriously yet but I would def try before jumping to conclusions.  It’s really hard when everyone around you is getting engaged and married (well frankly, it sucks, I’m in that boat too and going insane!) but give him a chance to explain.  Good luck! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Well maybe he knows that you are expecting a proposal soon and is trying to throw you off track. Once my then bf now Fiance mentioned marriage, literally every single time we went out I was dressed to get engaged. Well that went on for about a little over a damn year and then boom out of no where he proposed! I was completely caught off guard actually.

He told me he messed up by mentioning that he wanted to marry me and then had to literally wait until he thought I was not expecting it. and well…it worked.

Do you think he is really buying a bike or is this bike a decoy to anger you and throw you off track?

Post # 8
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Iv been with him 6 years bought a condo together and have a furbaby<3 no ring no proposal and I feel your frustration. We have looked at rings, talked about weddings and who would be our BMs and Groomsmen but nootthhinngg… I have no good advice I don’t know what to do or say either. I bring it up sometimes but that doesnt help. lol

Post # 9
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@FutureMrs.browneyes:  waiting makes us all crazy, thats why were on here!! hahaha.. believe me i know exactly how you feel.. my boyfriend saved up for a very expensive 2nd car that he bought a year ago and were still not engaged.. he didnt realize how much it meant to me until after he spent the money (and my ring fund).. i wish i had spoken up sooner but i didnt want to push.. everything happens for a reason though.. maybe you speaking up is just the “nudge” he needs 🙂

Post # 10
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@NCPwedding:  maybe I should act like im not expecting it. 😐 Ill try that but its hard to not talk about weddings when my sister is engaged and everytime we see his parents they ask what we are waiting for so Ill try my best but its going to come up. After 6 years together and no proposal its hard to pretend your not thinking about it because everyone asking when when when. 

Post # 11
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@SarahP898:  Trust me girl, I know its hard! They eff up and mention marriage, how on earth do they expect us to not be ready for a proposal every single time they say they want to take us somewhere special???

I dont even know how I didnt have a proposal on the brain at the time that he proposed. We took a mini winery vacation, had a beautiful bed and breakfast, went on a picnic inside of a cave, I opened my chocolate truffle and boom there was my ring. I had on jeans and a freaking tshirt and no makeup because it was hot that day…lol. I guess thats how he knew.

I dont know how my brothers..now wife…waited 14 YEARS!!!

Post # 12
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

@FutureMrs.browneyes:  Talk to him calmly.  Tell him how it hurts your to be put on the back burner compared to a bike. 

I personally dont think its care that women are told to keep quiet and suffer in silence when their feelings are being hurt. 

Post # 13
Member
11 posts
Newbee

I think you need to stay calm and not panic too much about this. I agree it’s annoying that he is ploughing all this money into a bike, but it may be that he’s already got the money saved for a ring/ is making additional monthly savings towards this. I honestly don’t think your SO’s friend would mention a ring if he didn’t know that it was definitely coming. I think that the fact that he tells you all the time he can’t wait to marry you is a really good sign – some guys (i.e. mine!) don’t even like talking about it, so I think you’re really lucky to be in a position where he makes it clear that he’s excited at the prospect of marrying you. Since he doesn’t seem to be frightened of marriage talk, maybe it’s something you could bring up with him, perhaps even just a jokey “Er…what about my ring?!” Anyway, it sounds to me that there is a lot to be positive about in your relationship so I say hang on in there.

 

However, I have to say that I would have been annoyed about the dinner thing too….!

Post # 16
Member
11 posts
Newbee

@FutureMrs.browneyes:  I think you should just ask when he was thinking you should go out for the meal so you can put it in your diary. Definitely hold him to it!

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