Roomie hates me because he can't smoke weed indoors

posted 10 months ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What's your opinion of pot smoke in your living space?
    No smoking pot inside (Non-pot smoker) : (74 votes)
    67 %
    No smoking pot inside (Pot smoker) : (14 votes)
    13 %
    Yes- I don't mind pot smoke inside (Non-pot smoker) : (0 votes)
    Yes- I don't mind pot smoke inside (Pot smoker) : (12 votes)
    11 %
    Yes, only if the kids won't be home : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, only for special occasions : (2 votes)
    2 %
    Yes, only if I can't smell it : (3 votes)
    3 %
    No- other : (4 votes)
    4 %
    Yes- other : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    semperfi :  Maybe a couple times a year we’ll have a friend smoke weed in our apartment, I used to smoke weed with a pen before bed to help me sleep and I did it inside. This is rare and in both of these instances its not enough to leave a lingering smell.

    Your roomie sounds like a loser honestly. The weed thing would drive me nuts but I think I’d be more upset that hes leeching off of you guys. 

    I think it’s gonna be awkward regardless, I would have your boyfriend give him a deadline as to when he needs to be out so he doesn’t end up staying forever. 

    Is weed legal where you are?

    Post # 3
    Member
    827 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m so glad he’s moving out! Aside from the smoking he sounds selfish and lazy. How old is he?

    When I was at uni people who were compulsive like that tended to try and then get hooked on harder stuff which was a worry. I used to smoke weed myself though not on a regular basis so I’m not being sanctimonious.

    In our last flat, both our neighbours smoked pot continuously from both sides and it came out our vents. I really empathise,it was stale and reeked! I also resented the possible passive smoking since I’d quit regular cigarettes.

    Anyway in your case I’d say good riddance!  semperfi :  

    Post # 4
    Member
    634 posts
    Busy bee

    Just for a little context, how old are all of you? This sounds like a problem I would have had in college so I’m guessing early 20s. 
    It sounds like the roommate is a lazy and inconsiderate stoner and that kind of attitude is no fun to be around. At the same time, he’s been friends with your boyfriend for a decade and it was technically his space first and he was used to behaving a certain way within that space (also, since your boyfriend didn’t enforce the no smoking rule until you moved in so it probably seems like it’s coming more from you than from him). IMO, a compromise could have been reached with a space heater in his room but the damage is done. They’ve been friends for 10 years and you came into the picture a few months ago and you already know he doesn’t like you. If he’s getting ready to move out then just leave it at that I wouldn’t try to approach him because from his perspective his life was just fine and dandy up until you came along/moved in so just let the situation cool down. Ask your boyfriend if there’s anything you can do to support him during this difficult time and possible end to a friendship.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1891 posts
    Buzzing bee

    semperfi :  Who cares its awkwards. smelling like smoke period is gross. Smelling like anything unpleasant is gross. He doesn’t own the place your boyfriend does so he either abides by the rules or gets out. Sounds like he is generally an all around rude, selfish immature kid. I wouldn’t want my boyfriend being friends with someone like that anyways. Don’t worry about it. Their friendship doesnt NEED to survive. It isn’t anyones problem but the roomate who is not a good person. 

    By The Way living with roomates ALWAYS sucks. it just is what it is. If you are lucky enough to live with someone super considerate and awesome you still have to share your space with them which isn’t always fun. Just look forward to a time where you won’t have to have a roomate. Once I lived alone, and now that I live with my boyfriend just us two i have firmly set behind me the annoyances of having a roomate. I will never go back. Its temporary, and most people have to deal with it at a certain stage in their life. If anything it teaches us all how we want to raise kids to not eat peoples food without asking, crank up music when its 10pm, know how to clean a bathroom so that they actually CAN do it themselves. Don’t be that parent who raises an asshole like this guy, 

    Post # 7
    Member
    6828 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I’m in Canada so its legal, and I have no issues with it, but FUCK it stinks. I cannot stand the smell. We have a no weed inside rule. I go over to some of our friends houses and it’s kind of gross how much it smells. They are so desensitized to it and dont even notice. 

    The best part is, they will smoke weed inside, but have to go outside for cigarettes. 

    Anyways, it sounds like him moving out is probably the best course of action. If he has carpet in his room, make sure he deep cleans it before leaving or keep a portion of the deposit to do so. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2658 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    semperfi :  thc vape doesn’t smell, maybe that’s the everybody’s happy answer

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    nykkee :  That’s probably hard to get since it’s not legal where they are?

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    634 posts
    Busy bee

    semperfi :  You’re in your 30s? I feel a little less bad for him now. The “it’s a big part of my lifestyle” is concerning for someone that age. If he really needs it then he should get a presciption or find other solutions. It sucks that he has leave but you guys are also helping him put on his big boy pants at the same time; hopefully he’ll learn from it and be grateful looking back.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2658 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    futuremrs2020 :  oh yeah, wasn’t thinking if that, I’m in Canana

    Post # 12
    Member
    2238 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

    semperfi :  I was in the same boat when I moved in with Fiance. 

    LOATHE the smell of weed. My mom has been a HUGE pot smoker my whole life. She always smoked inside and I think there might be a bit of an emotional component to why i hate it so much, but I digress.

    Fiance had a roommate he let move in with him in the wake of a nasty divorce. He felt bad for his friend, and said he could move in to get back on his feet. He didn’t ask for rent at first, but after a year of dude just mooching, he finally asked him to kick in something. 

    This was 3 years gone, by the time I showed up. I didn’t actively dislike the roomie, but was annoyed by the mooching and smoking, and I know he picked up on my annoyance. Ultimately, FH wouldn’t ask him to leave, but told him he was selling his house so we could build something together and that was how we got rid of him. 

    He definitely assumed it was my doing that got him booted – which, was only about 1/2 true. FH had wanted him out, but didn’t want to be the bad guy, so he let it slide, even when roomie had become a pain in the ass. I think most guys would rather demonize the new G F rather than admit they were being an asshole and pissed off their friend. You are the “new” thing that changed their “great” relationship, so it’s natural he blames you. 

    That being said, you have nothing to feel guilty about and you didn’t cause this. Roomie’s disrespectful and self-indulgent behavior did. Don’t buy into his bullshit narrative that everything was FINE till YOU came along; it wasn’t, it’s just your B F was willing to let it slide.

    Also, dudes don’t tend to hold a grudge the way women sometimes do. Odds are, once he moved out, B F and he will patch it up and everything will be okay. Probably better, once the dust has settled. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    6770 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Roomie may be surprised to discover he’s going to have an issue finding anywhere to live where he can smoke inside to the degree he wants to smoke inside. 

    nykkee :  Aside from being illegal, studies are beginning to come out stating vaping has more physical consequences than smoking.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2800 posts
    Sugar bee

    A little bit of pot smoke doesn’t bother me and it usually clears out really quickly. My husband and I smoke weed in the house maybe once a day, but it’s just a few puffs blown out the window. (And we wouldn’t do it if we had a roommate that objected)

    BUT there’s a very big difference between that and huffing on a bong every hour of the day. I definitely wouldn’t want to live in a home that permanantly smelled like smoke and bong water. He sounds like a man child and a nightmare of a roommate in general as well, so good riddance. He can go find a frat house to live in (how old is he by the way? Because I really hope for his sake he’s under 22) 

    ETA just saw that you’re all in your 30s.. Good luck finding a girlfriend bud. 

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