(Closed) Roommate didn't RSVP for my shower last weekend…should I confront her?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2647 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

Is it possible she legitimately forgot?  I wouldn’t say anything, but I’m not very confrontational & would rather salvage our friendship, rather than possibly demolish it.

Post # 4
2958 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I would definitely be tempted to ask, but I’m a very nonconfrontational person so I can’t say I would. I do think you should though.

Post # 5
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d let it go.  I understand you being hurt but she’s about to move out anyway.  I don’t think its a big enough deal to start a big argument right before she moves out.

ETA: I am a relatively confrontational person; I don’t tend to keep my mouth shut about things that upset me, but idk… I guess I just dont think its worth it

Post # 6
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If it were me, I would just say something like, ‘do you want to see some of the pictures from my shower? Wish you could have made it!’ or something like that, and see if she says anything. I’m with PPs in that I’m nonconfrontational, but I would want to know what happened!

Post # 7
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Wrenny:  I’ve seen this possibility on other threads, but (and don’t take this the wrong way) maybe she doesn’t view your friendship the way you do? Maybe she sees you as a roommate, period, and not someone to hang out with? As for not RSVPing, maybe it’s just bad manners or she legitimately forgot (remember that in her head, you may *just* be roommates). I once had a roommate who I thought would be an acquiantance/friend roommate, but when I asked if she wanted to go down the street and grab a slice of pizza, she looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe your roommate is like that? 

Either way – she’s moving out soon anyway. Just focus on your friends who actually did RSVP and show up to the shower. Laughing

Post # 8
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

i agree with iadornyou. Since she isn’t a close friend it isn’t worth getting all riled up about, but I’d be curious as to why or how she just plain forgot. So I’d find a way to mention the shower in a non-aggressive to see if she offers up any info. If she doesn’t, then just let it go. 

I have to say that I have social anxiety disorder and I do a lot of things other people find very strange (I always RSVP though!!). Many times I will not go to parties I am invited to because of my anxiety, but I will saddle up and deal with it when I need to be there for someone. Perhaps she felt uncomfortable for some reason. 

Post # 9
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If the two of you aren’t close I wouldn’t let it bother you. I’ve been invited to the showers and bachelor parties of acquaintances before and I didn’t go. I’m of the school of thought that those events ought to be reserved for the nearest and dearest only.


Post # 10
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Wrenny:  Id walk in and tell her all about my surprise shower and tell her how awesome it was. Then ask her if she got the invitation cause you heard from your SIL that she didnt get an RSVP and wasnt sure if you got it.  I wouldnt turn it into a fight though.

Post # 11
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Wrenny:  Why boher?

Post # 12
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Her only faux pas here is not RSVPing. I don’t think she really owes you an explanation, even though it would have been nice. If you knew she was invited, why didn’t you say something to her when you left…like, Hey, are you coming today? Or even before that? It doesn’t have to be a big deal unless you want it to be.

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