Post # 1
Okay idk if I should be annoyed or not….
My boyfriend and I have a roommate to save money. It’s a rental so it’s not like any of us have more claim over the house than the others. He told us his sister was staying with us for a couple nights-no big deal AT ALL since we have a small guest bedroom. She gets here with 3 other people that he didn’t tell us about… We also only have one bathroom. I’m annoyed and kind of want to say something but my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s a huge deal at all.
How would y’all react/respond? Am I being petty?
Post # 2
amilly435 : not gonna lie 4 more in 1 bathroom I be mad. More electricity water to!
Post # 3
I’d probably talk to him about it after they leave. I’d just tell him in the future, you’d like to know when/how many guests are coming. I wouldn’t be angry but I would be annoyed.
Post # 4
I would be annoyed. Did he give a date that they would all be out? If not, I would start there and ask when they will be leaving.
I would also take a look at your lease to see how long overnight guests are allowed to stay for.
Post # 5
Does it say anything in your lease about having overnight guests?
Post # 6
I’d be super annoyed, but I wouldn’t make too big of a deal about it. Just let the roommate know that in the future you need to know who is going to be staying over. (And you have every right to say you’re not ok with that many people staying for multiple nights),
Post # 7
Well I think most people would be annoyed with three extra houseguests they were not previously told about. But are you so certain that he didn’t know about them either? And that sister didn’t just spring the three extra people on him at the last minute and then he felt stuck?
I guess the level of annoyance and or your response to it would depend on what you and your roommate previously agreed to. I know it sounds like a joke with the Big Bang Theory and roommate agreements but everyone who lives with a roommate should have come up with House Rules from day one. So what is the agreement that you and the roommates had come up with? Are house guests allowed and did you put a number limit on house guests or a day limit? And at this point how much longer will they be staying? If it’s just another night or two then I would put up with it and then after the fact have a house discussion about how to handle houseguests from here on out. It’s going to be more than a couple of nights then I would address it now and recommend they find a hotel room for the remainder of their stay.
Post # 8
amilly435 : not cool. When Darling Husband and i had a roomie, we had ground rules around guests. Had to notify us ahead of time, two days max, and no more than 1 guest at a time. We also had a 1 bathroom apt.
That said, even though it was a rental, we were the lease holders (the roommate was just a legal occupant), so it was OUR apartment, not theirs. Is your roomie on the lease?
id bring it up to the roomie and have a discussion about expectations surrounding guests. If you’re the leaseholders, you can set the rules. If you’re all on the lease, then you should come to the rules together. And if you’re not happy with the outcome, you should consider moving out.
Post # 9
I’d have been pissed. This is probably why I never had any roommates other than significant others. :/
Post # 10
I agree with PP. Wait until after they leave, then mention it for next time. If your lease doesn’t specify, put a limit on it like no more than 2 people & only for 3 days, or whatever you want to agree to. If he does it again, report it to the landlord.
Post # 11
You just gotta have rules set up. But in my experience having roommates and friends having roommates, there will ALWAYS be a few things that a roommate will do that are VERY irritating. I’ve never lived with someone where I haven’t had a major issue with them that I had to simply deal with.
Guests and cleanliness are my top pet peeves. But you do live with a roommate so the best you can do is try to agree with him on some rules. Next time If you wanna be able to call the shots you can try to be the one paying the rent and on the lease so the other roommate knows that you call the shots and if you want them out you can do it. Tell him you want to have better communication about guests. He needs to know how many people are coming before hand and let you know. 4 people is rediculous. You could agree on a max amount of people and a max amount of nights they can stay. Good luck bee.
Post # 12
I’m a bit torn about this if they are there only few days. I do think people need to respect their roommates and good communication is a key. But I also don’t think it should be necessary to ask “permission” or set up too many rules if you are having your friends over for a weekend. Especially if it doesn’t happen often.
I think the key is if you are sub-letting your rental to him or if he is an equal on your lease. That determines how much rights you have to set up rules.
Post # 13
I’d probably not be too happy but I’d be okayish for a few days unless they were really hogging the bathroom, especially before I need to get myself to work. I agree with the other bees that it’s a good idea to bring this up after the guests have left. I’ve lived in several shared flats and some guests my roomies had were no bother at all, they helped with chores and didn’t get in the way. Others on the hand left their stuff lying around and were a right nuisance.
Post # 14
Thanks everyone! I’ll add that our roommate is also a really close friend of ours, not just a rando we have living with us. He’s on the lease too, that’s why it’s an equal split and i can’t make “rules” He said it’s only a couple nights. I’m not sure if our lease says anything but if it did I don’t think I’d use it against him unless a dire situation like they hadn’t left in two weeks
I’m not at all saying he needs to ask permission to do things nor am I angry, I’m just annoyed with the total lack of communication and regard for others ya know? I’m in nursing school and am up at 5am, so if they’ll be up late/sleeping in the living room that affects me as well as my SO. But like @annabananabee said he might not have known they were coming which is rude of the sister. Idk. He just also has a rep of poor communication, not always cleaning up, etc.
They just got here today so I don’t think I’ll bring it up to him unless there’s a real issue (being loud/messy) and if so I’ll wait until they leave.
Post # 15
That would be a whole heap of oh hell no for me. I hope they make themselves scarce and depart with no issues and I think it’s a great idea to speak with him after they leave.