Post # 1
Next semester, I will be roommates with a girl I have been roommates with before. (We live in the sorority house on a small campus) I love her, and we used to love to speculate weddings and dresses and the like before I was engaged. Now that I am engaged, I have selected my BP, but it does not include her. (or anyone else in my pledge class, to be fair)
She is always so curious and I don’t ever know how to get out of giving her the full answer of anything, but I also don’t want to talk so much wedding that she is sad for being left out. I’m just not sure where that line is going to be yet. And the nature of being roommates in general is just that you talk a lot. And I’m afraid that she’s going to want to talk about weddings endlessly…until after she finds out she’s not a BM? I don’t know. It’s complicated?
Post # 3
@MissOtter: If she’s asking questions about it, she may just be curious. I wouldn’t think she’d assume she was going to be a part of the bridal party unless that was something the two of you discussed before. Are you inviting her as a guest? If so, I guess I don’t know why you’re worried about talking about it with her. If you’re not invting her as a guest, that’s a different story.
Post # 4
@MissOtter: Say everything you said here – to her.
Let her know that you value her friendship and if she is genuinely curious about wedding details that you would be happy to divulge. You can let her know that if she is honestly just looking for conversation fodder that you two have other similar interests and you can speak on those instead.
Sometimes being straight and to the point helps friendships more then people think it would hurt them. Why beat around the bush and try to guess what she is feeling? Just ask. 🙂 and conversely you get to be honest about your feelings as well.
Post # 5
@ANGELaaimt: She is definitely invited and she loves to know details about everything. I think that maybe she expects to be asked? I’m not doing the asking until September. Sometimes I just fear that by talking about it so much, she assumes that she’s “on the inside” so she’ll “have” to be a BM.
For example, we loved looking at rings, and she always said, “Hey, don’t forget to get him to ask me what you like, because I know!”
Post # 6
@MissOtter: you can always reply “you’ll just have to wait and see” if you don’t want to give away too many details of your wedding. you still want the element of surprise for your guests.
Post # 7
@ajillity81: ah that is good. i can’t believe its never occurred to me to just tell people it’s a surprise.
I am just too open with people -_-