(Closed) roommate/bridesmaid drama…advice accepted

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You are NOT wrong for charging her rent!!!!  She is preventing you from getting another housemate/ using the entire space.  You don’t have to be physically present to rent a place.

ETA: What I would do is sit down with her / call her and ask what her plans are.  Just say you wish to be able to rent out her part of the house.  Make her give you a firm answer and get her to book the truck or whatever for a set date.  Just leaving her stuff there without paying her portion is really unbelievable.

 

Post # 4
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Of course you should charge her. If she didn’t have her stuff there, you would’ve probably get a rommie to help you pay. Tell her that you’re looking for someone to live with you and share the bills and you need her to move out ASAP (in a nice way of course). I don’t know her, but if you let this situation go on you might end up paying for her weekend home. If you don’t want a roomie, just try to pack her stuff and tell her that as long as she doesn’t live there anymore she should take all her stuff since you need the space.

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

whose name is on the lease??

anyways, if her stuff is preventing you from renting the room out to another person then yes – you were correct in charging her rent

if this was me, i would let her know that her stuff is preventing you from renting out the room so she still needs to pay rent and give her a date to start packing her stuff – i would also be changing the locks… because im a bitch

Post # 5
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@eloping: i would also be changing the locks… because im a bitch. Lol, not a bad idea at all, but if this girl’s her bridesmaid it might create a heck lot of trouble.

Post # 8
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If she is using the apartment in any way whatsoever she should be paying you rent money.  Just because you aren’t looking for a roommate currently is not the point. You shouldn’t be paying for her to use the apartment as her personal storage unit.

Post # 9
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

If she’s not on the lease and doesn’t plan on paying rent, then she needs to move her stuff out asap. Legally, she has no right to be there. 

Post # 10
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

She should pay the rent- and she should move her stuff out asap.

Post # 12
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

eeeeee I hope she doesn’t read into that message too much and think, ‘well she isn’t being super firm, so I can just keep dumping on her for as long as I want….’

Is she on the lease? If she is not, then she needs to abide by your rules because this is not her space. If she is on the lease, then when is the lease up? You might just want to get out of dodge if the lease is up soon and rent a place that can really be yours.

If she doesnt listen to you and get her stuff out, I would actually call her and tell her that it needs to go. Don’t give her reasons (cat, etc), don’t tell her anything about what furniture you will have to replace…just tell her what she needs to do. I’ve delt with crap like this before and the best route I found was just to be firm and stick to my ground.

Post # 13
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I think your message to her was way too nice/passive. It sounds like you are asking her to agree with you and if so, pay rent. In doing so, you give her the other option of disagreeing with you and making a counter argument that it is not fair for her to pay rent if she is not in the apartment. Further, she could simply say that she does not care if your cat is in her room while her stuff is there. I think you should actually tell her you’ve decided to look for a roomate for the semester since the rent is a lot on your own (even if you don’t have a problem making rent alone). A roomate is much more of a legit reason than a cat in my mind and really gives her no open space for interperetation. Besides, you could put signs up on campus, you may just find someone looking for a short term solution or who is willing to take over the lease.

Post # 15
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I was kind of in a situation like this, but on the other end.  I chose to move out prior to the lease ending (which I was not on).  I however, realized the lease was not up prior to moving out, and am not the type of person to not take care of my responsibilities, and would stop by and drop off checks.  I also moved out quite slowly seeing as how I was still paying I would have been SUPER upset if she moved someone else in prior to my lease being up. 

Unfortunately our friendship did disolve.  I was not engaged yet when I moved out, but prior to moving out this girl would have been a bridesmaid, if not my Maid/Matron of Honor, but due to the circumstances that led me to choosing to leave she was not even invited to my wedding.  (there was some things she did that I was not okay with). 

Regardless if her stuff is still there she is still responsible to pay for her portion of the rent.  I think your message was nice, and see the reason why you wouldn’t want to be more firm, but I definitely think it would benefit to maybe ask her to meet with you (dinner/coffee) to talk out all these details, including her role in your wedding.  It sounds like it’s somewhat a passive/aggressive relationship right now, and you would hate ot have that underlying tension give you more stress as you plan for your special day!

The topic ‘roommate/bridesmaid drama…advice accepted’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors