- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2015
This is my first post. My apologies in advance; I needed to get this off my chest, so this is a lengthy post. I’ll try to make this as clear and concise as I can.
My FI and I originally set up a budget that we could tackle on our own. In the last few weeks, both FMIL and my parents have both insisted that they be included in sharing the expenses. We will be paying for about 2/3 of the wedding expenses and our honeymoon. The remaining 1/3 of the wedding expenses will be split between FMIL and my parents.
I’m in the process of developing a rough draft of our guest list for venue selection and budgeting purposes. After my FI and I put together our list of roughly 100 guests, we invited our parents to make a list of those they would like included. My FI has a very small extended family, so I wasn’t surprised when his mother gave me a list of 10-12 people to include. Before speaking to my parents, I had estimated about 30-40 family guests from my side – my aunts and uncles, grandparents, a smattering of very close family friends, and cousins over 21 with their SOs.
I was shell-shocked when my father initially asked me to include his entire extended family and some of his coworkers. This would add nearly 70 people to our guest list, filling it with people I have only met once or twice. I have not seen many of these people in a decade or more. (I put the kibosh on this very quickly.)
My father was willing to concede but asked that I add his aunts and uncles from his mother’s side, one of his cousins, as well as include all of my cousins.
The complication arises in inviting my cousins. I have an even dozen cousins, currently ranging in age from 10-23. By the time our wedding rolls around, seven of the twelve will be 18+. I am not close with any of them, as we spent time together roughly once a year growing up. Of the twelve, one has a serious relationship and two have on-again, off-again relationships.
As far as I’m aware, etiquette dictates that guests 18 and older should receive a plus one. My father disagrees, saying that the kids shouldn’t be offered a plus one as they’ll be coming with their parents.
So, bees – what’s your take? Who do I invite? Do they receive plus ones?
Any advice on family and invitation etiquette is welcome 🙂