(Closed) Rough times

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We totally had that right before the wedding.  We did really good afterwards, up until now…he’s been in a really crappy mood lately and we fight over the dumbest stuff (like him leaving the garage door open this morning).

Post # 4
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

My Fiance and I have been going through the same thing for past 4 days. We have never really argued before we got engaged. My fear is that the wedding planning will cause us to lose focus on us and so far that is exactly what seems to be happening. I hope we are able to get back on track because it sucks fighting.

Post # 5
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My Fiance and I used to bicker about the stuuuuuupist things aaaaaaall the time (and sorta still do LOL).  What we’ve figured out, and it took almost 2 years, is that we are ultimately fighting *for* each other… not with.

My advice, slow ya role a bit.  If you notice yourself being edgy towards him, take a break and count to 10 (or 20 if you have to).  Figure out exactly what set you off, and try to find a different way to approach him with it… even if it means acting WICKED cute while you nag him to do something -proven to be quite useful on my end. 🙂

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
1454 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Fiance and I seem to bicker REALLY BADLY because of the stress from the wedding. I find when we take time off from it, we are fine. More reason for me to SO READY for march 20 to get here!

Post # 7
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We must be on the same wavelength! My fiance and I have been bickering back and forth these last couple of days about the dumbest stuff everrrr. Like his middle name, and how he hates it, but wants to put “C” on the invitations anyway…I told him it’ll throw off the balance blah blah blah and it evolved into this “thing.” OVER WEDDING INVITES. We definitely go through these phases though, it’s not the first time it has happened. What I hate is that this usually leads to things coming to a head and exploding (ew) and we have a huge blowout. But then again, we get over it very quickly when that happens. So hang in there ladies, I feel your pain!

Post # 8
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

Could be worse, at least you two CAN fight. My coworker wouldn’t fight with his wife about wedding issues, he would just be mean to ME. He later admitted that he rather piss me off than his wife. They were both super-stressed, but wouldn’t communicate weird stuff like “honey, I think you should just drop that DIY project, we don’t have time.” Instead, he was just insulting things to me at work like “go **** yourself” and then say “it was a joke.”

I guess, but I’d rather not be your punching bag. Yell She’s your wife, work it out, it’s not the end of the world to have a fight!

Post # 9
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This happened to us right before the wedding because stress levels were SOOO high.  Is there something stressing you out that’s making you take it out on him?

Post # 10
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

i think i we tend to argue more when we’re really stressed, though i’m the bigger stressball these days. i agree with other ladies – maybe try to isolate what it is that is causing you stress and determine if it’s really related to your Boyfriend or Best Friend or not. sometimes just saying – i’m really stressed out for x, y, and z reasons helps both parties try to redirect their energies from arguing to doing something productive.

Post # 11
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We had that a couple of weeks ago. About absolutely NOTHING important. I was mad because he wasn’t working on stuff enough, he was mad because I was mad… throw in the stress of planning a friends wedding in less than a month (with me being a tiny bit jealous) and we couldn’t. stop. fighting. Actually, he didn’t fight, but he was annoyed that I was so annoyed.

Post # 12
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s pretty normal – we go through periods like this too sometimes, but it’s usually over a concrete issue and once we resolve that issue, everything’s back to normal. If I remember correctly from a previous thread, you guys have only been together for a few months, so it would make sense that you are still figuring stuff out and hitting a few rough patches along the way. Hope you guys get through it soon!

Post # 13
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@ Rosie Girl – I also get moody at times, and take it out on him.. and sometimes I ask my SO the same things LOL. “Are you happy?” etc etc.. I know it drives him nuts but he is so amazing at dealing with me, sometimes I have to stop and go “You know, you really need to lighten up on him – he is so wonderful and he loves you, otherwise he wouldn’t still be here putting up with you” LOL. Then I feel guilty.

Post # 14
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

Our worst times were the months leading up to the wedding — fighting and bickering.  There was so much to do and we were stressed.  But we’ve had the best year of marriage — don’t worry about it!!

Post # 15
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m the only one out of the two of us who ever gets moody. I seriously think Fiance just bumbles along happily in life until the moment I flip out over the stupidest things. But once I start flipping out, he doesn’t let me get away with it which is what I love about him. After some growing pains early on in our relationship, we’ve definitely come a long way and now that I know him better and respect him more because of it, I am a lot less likely to stick with my arguments and keep the fight going than I am to apologize and back down right away. It is extremely rare that I actually have a reason to be upset.

Post # 16
Member
865 posts
Busy bee

yes we like go through phases I swear.  there will be several months where everything is peaches and cream then a month where everything just seems like a problem. thankfully were good at working things out and going back to “peaches and cream”.  those problem times are so darn stressful though!  The worst is when I hold in feelings just to avoid the fights.

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