- 8 years ago
This morning has been rough. Although, lets be honest, the last week has been rough. Little backfiller…
I’m 22, he’s 24. We’ve been together for 5 years, living together for almost 2. I initially wasn’t attracted to him as he is very shy, and anything but a social butterfly. This caused a major roadblock about 2 years in when I called it quits and headed for greener pastures. At 18, I wasn’t about to spend the rest of my life with a boyfriend who had no desire to party, or be social, or spend time with my family for holidays. After a several month split, we got back together as I found that the “greener pasture” that shall remain nameless was not what I wanted, I conceded and we got back together. He fought long and hard for me every day of the split, and so I got lucky he would take me back.
Fast forward a few years and we get a townhouse and a dog. Everything is wonderful as I have hit my “ready-to-be-Mrs-X” stage, so nothing makes me happier than to clean daily, cook several nights a week, and keep him happy. Fast forward 6 months with no ring, and that “happy” feeling is gone.
Now here’s the problem and the frustration – after multiple wedding arguments, it’s very apparent that he doesn’t get the “wedding” thing, unless of course I get pregnant, in which case “we WILL be getting married” so I can have double the insurance. Romantic, eh? [Mind you, I told him if he proposed shortly after me telling him I was pregnant, I’d take whatever shoe I was wearing at the time and shove it where the sun don’t shine. Can’t make a commitment to your SO of 5 years, but throw a fetus in the equation and all of a sudden things change. *eye roll*]
Anywho, take this frustration, throw in the fact that he will NOT go out to bars or clubs with me, leaving me to fend for myself or skip out if I don’t have anyone to go with, and then throw in a Halloween party at a club that he will not be attending, followed by feirce dreams of indecision and wanting to leave, and you have my morning.
So here it is, I’m having second thoughts, again. I’m wondering if I’ve made the wrong decision. The man is wonderful, pays all the bills, loves me unconditionally, but he is not the partner in life that I would like [at this stage in my life]. I can’t stand the thought of separate social circles and constantly having to party alone. We are a couple, a team, partners…. why must we live so separately outside of the home?
I guess what I’m really asking here is some support to make it through this rough patch. I know that he is the one for me, and that he will make a good husband, I’m just upset because he’s playing the good husband NOW, and yet isn’t “ready” to propose. He’s playing the good husband now, and not the young partner I need. He’s not spontaneous, or surprising, and can’t plan anything to save his life. I’m feeling stuck, and bored, and in a rut.
Sorry for the length, but I’d really appreciate if any other bees have been through this and made it out alive. I know this is all very vague, but my brain is absolutely jumbled.