(Closed) Round 2 – Critique my invitation suite !!

posted 4 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Hostess
3381 posts
Sugar bee

Yes yes yes!  This is great.  Very professional 🙂

 

I think the size of the “Husband and Wife is fine” but I’m not sure the slant works, the rest of the invite is so linear.

 

I don’t think the travelling insert is too busy, I think the amount of info is good.  Maybe condense the apartment information to something along the lines of “there are also self-catering apartments should you prefer, please contact Angela … [etc]”

 

I also wonder what it would look like if you did the 3 activities (including the dinner) in the same format as the adresses.  Is Rosa a family member or tour operator? If the former maybe put “30th December: City tour – contact Rosa for details”, Then “1st January: lunch hosted by XXX, all welcome” then the same as the December 31st on for the 2nd.  Just a thought anyway.  I can’t really envisage what it would look like but you never know!

 

Either way these are just niggly things, it doesn’t need changing.  It looks fab as it is!

 

Post # 4
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Nic01:  Husband & wife is too small now, IMO.

The BBQ wording is awkward. Maybe try something like, “Name, would love for you to join us for lunch on January 1 at xx.” OR “Please join us for a lunch on January 1, hosted by xxxx.” Etc.

Post # 5
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Shouldn’t it be “a lunch on the 1st of January”? 

Post # 7
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Nic01: I think they look great – just a few small thoughts (really, these are me being super picky – you can definitely send them out as is):

1) I would decrease the size of your names somewhat and increase the size of Husband & Wife. Alternatively keep the sizes as is, but straighten the H&W part.

2) The third font on the travel inset, what would it look like if you used the cursive font or the purple sans serif? It’s just that it look a little misplaced as both the font and colour is different.

3) The “For any of your booking needs…” is a little long, can be shortened to “Contact Angela at… for details”.

4) I agree with pp’s that the lunch part needs to be re-worded. Perhaps something along the lines of “Please join us for our post-wedding lunch hosted by X”.

5) Does everyone know how to get hold of Rosa?

6) Reading the extra activity part I would assume that I would have to cover it myself.

Post # 8
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

OMG I loved Hahndorf when I was there! 😀 And Barossa – OH GOD YES. I didn’t.want.to.leave. You’re so lucky to be getting married in Adelaide 🙂 It’s beautiful up there!

Now… moving on to the invitation. It’s beautiful, but there are some things that sort of popped out at me, so I’ll list those. Take my advice with a grain of salt, haha!

 

1) I agree with @ladyartichoke – the slant of “Husband and Wife” in the main invitations seems kind of odd with the linearity of the rest of the invitation.

2) It should be “The following activities can be arranged”. You’re missing the ‘d’ (I know, I’m pedantic, sorry!).

3) I feel like the first paragraph of the “Travelling” insert is sort of too long. Maybe try breaking it up, like:

 

“Adelaide is less than a 2HR flight from Sydney

Nestled between beautiful beaches and vineyards of South Australia

There is something for everyone…”

 

Make it lead into the invitation to lead the audience (your guests J) into your invitation.

4) The full-stop/period at the end of “Please mention our wedding for preferential rates” sort of bugs me… I don’t know why.

And that’s it! J The invitation looks splendid! 🙂

 

Ei x

 

Post # 9
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Just realised you mentioned the ‘d’! I suck! LOL

Post # 10
Member
2534 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

– I think the size of the entire area of your names “Nicole XXXX & Anx XXXX ” and the text “Husband and Wife” should be equal in size. For example – each seperate area should have an imaginary 2×4 box in it, and all the text in that area should fill up that box. Does that make sense? I will try to edit your image when I get home, if it doesn’t.
The ampersand (&) between your names is too large right now and could be made smaller.

– Does Angela handle all booking needs, or just the apartment booking needs? IF I call her for one of the hotels you listed, will she know what I’m talking about? I think you can take out the apartment section. You’ve provided SO MUCH info already that I’m actually getting a bit confused!!

– Rosa looks like she’s someone’s mom. Is she OK handling a bunch of activity bookings? Phone calls from people who think she’s a travel agent? You already listed one agent before her, I thought Rosa was another until I read the top of your actual invite.

– Do you have a wedding website? Activities and whatnot can just go on the website, maybe you could just mention “Visit our wedding website at GoingToTheChapel.Wedding.Com for more information about accomodations, area activities, and more!”

Then at least on the website you can mention something more direct, like “These activities have been suggested if you have some extra time during your stay. Please contact Rosa at [contact info] for more information about booking an excursion!” (OR you could just use that wording on the invite)

Post # 12
Member
9556 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I, personally would leave the main invite as is. I actually like the slant. And the sizing of all the text. 

The traveling insert is not too busy. I agree with shortening the wording about Angela. Are the 2 events at the bottom things that will definately be happening, and people can come if they want or things that will only happen if people contact Rosa. Also, how do I contact Rosa?

Post # 13
Member
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Nic01:  Ok. On the first invitation (the other thread), husband & wife was WAY too big. Unfortunately, now that it’s smaller the slant looks weird and out of place. If you changed it back and made it about the same size as your names, that would balance it out more. I think when “Husband& Wife” was stretching out wider than the smaller words, it worked well.

I would still put a phone number for your mom. Even if I know her, I may not have her number. 

Post # 15
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Nic01: I would phrase it like this (obs, comma removed):

XX would love for you to join us for lunch on the 1st of January.

Then use the same format for “the 2nd of January”.

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