(Closed) Royally pissed.. do I have the right to be?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
9107 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’d let it go. It’s no one’s fault that the anniversary getaway has to be pushed back — just a result of circumstance. A weekend getaway sounds amazing no matter when you take it and despite the fact that you have to wait a few extra weeks. I’d focus on that and just look forward to it.

In fact, I’d look forward to all of it. Cousin’s dance recital, a nice long Memorial Day weekend to relax, the sister’s graduation party, and then a weekend getaway? I mean, I don’t see anything to complain about here.

Post # 3
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Hmm, if you’re mostly just upset that your plan to celebrate and basically set up a good time to propose isn’t going to work, maybe that’s a little ridiculous.  

If you’re pissed off that your fiance won’t put you first and celebrate 5 years together in a special way, yeah–I’d be there with you.  But at the same time, precedent has been set.  If you’ve always been part of every family thing, well, it’s going to be awfully hard to break the pattern now!

Post # 4
Member
5897 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

The graduation parties I get…but the dance recital?  Seriously?  I’d go with the Saturday to Monday plan.

At some point, as the family keeps expanding you’ve got to start drawing the line!

Post # 5
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

yeah I’d try to skip the dance recital… but I get it, I have a family like that too and I’ve been to so many fashion shows, recitals, hockey games, etc etc for my cousins as well as sibs. It’s kind of wonderful actually.

You can’t plan your own proposal. Just enjoy the family time and let HIM book time away somewhere for you.

Post # 6
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

cbgg:  +1.  I agree that you shouldn’t miss the graduation parties — graduations are rare and life-achievement types of events, especially since it’s his sister.  But a cousin’s dance recital?  Nope.  I don’t do dance recitals unless it is my daughter (or if my grandkid(s) do dance in the future).  They are tedious and boring and I’m not sitting through it, much less missing a romantic getaway, for a cousin.  

Post # 7
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’d go away the weekend prior to the anniversary.  Then if he does propose you will have a beautiful ring to wear to the graduation/dance recital events.

Post # 8
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

 

I think the bigger issue is that you guys put up with massive guilt trip explosions for missing every single family event. That’s not a healthy dynamic.

Post # 9
Member
728 posts
Busy bee

I think you shouldn’t miss the graduation itself and one graduation party. I don’t think its necessary to put off your own personal plans to attend two parties that are both celebrating the same thing. And dance recital for cousin is just not that big of a deal

Post # 10
Member
9576 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I really don’t understand the anger as this is just life. Things happen, plans get pushed back. Noone booked these things to spite you, its just where the cards fell. This is apparently important to your SO to go to these things so you need to take his feelings into consideration as well.

I would try to make peace with the fact you will be expected at things like graduation and dance recitals now or else you’re in for a very long and unhappy marriage if he does propose.

Post # 11
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Magnolia House

calikat:  Yea ours is like that too and we have to go to everything or major drama. 

But I don’t think you are as upset about the date moving as you are that you think he is going to propose. Just relax it will come when its supposed to.

Post # 12
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

No I’d be pissed too! I get that you can’t miss his sister’s graduation but TWO parties? Thats a little ridiculous. Your anniversary matters too.. I would miss that dance recital, why does it matter? You can watch it if someone gets it on video. I guess if its a REALLY important one than I could understand, but its a dance recital! :\

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