(Closed) RPSVP: Maybe?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would get back to them a little bit before you have to get your numbers into the caterer.  Just let them know if they are attending or not because the caterer requires accurate numbers, or something like that.  

Post # 4
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’d phone them TODAY and tell them you need to know by Thursday.  Let them know that if you don’t receive a response, you’ll have to mark them as a “no” since you need to submit your numbers to the venue.  A “maybe” is not an acceptable response to a wedding invitation (unless the person is very ill or has a legitimate reason besides “we’ll see if I’m around and feel like attending”).

Post # 5
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

thats nuts they cant tell you “maybe”! its yes or no. tell them you MUST give an accurate number to the caterer by such and such a date.

Post # 6
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with Juliepants 100%.

Post # 7
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would make your seating chart including the maybes, with very easy options to change if they become solid ‘nos’. Even people that RSVP’d no may suddenly be able to come last minute, so be prepared for those last minute changes, I would give your restaurant the final count and include the maybes, much better off being safe and having enough seats then not having enough seats of food.

Post # 8
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I think a “maybe” response is a “decline in disguise” – they don’t want to come out and say “no” outright, but they are not making firm plans to attend.

For catering purposes, I would assume “no” so that you don’t end up paying for meals that won’t be eaten.

Post # 9
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Just fyi, you WILL have unexpected “no shows”.  So if you do what Tiffmorris suggested, you will probably end up paying for a LOT of uneaten plates.

Post # 11
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@saida27:  If your date is correct on your profile, you are still over 6 weeks from your wedding. 

Invites should be going out now, not having firm answers.  There is a reason why the standards are 6-8 weeks before the event send out invites, and 1-2 weeks before the event RSVP date. 

Guests may legitimately NOT know at this point if they are ABLE to attend.  I would give them up to the standard 1-2 weeks ahead of time to work out their scheduling issues.

Post # 12
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Maybe definitely sounds like a cop-out.  I’d give them the date you absolutely need to know by, and say if they don’t give you a yes or a no by then, they are going to be counted as a no.

Post # 13
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Since your wedding is on a Friday, I assume those maybes are concerned that they’d be out of town for work? Can they ask for the day off?

I agree that 6 weeks out may be tough for some people- if it’s work related, they should know closer to the date- 2 or 3 weeks out. We had two guests who were in a similar situation, and if you’re having a weekday wedding, I feel you need to give your guests a certain amount of flexibility.

Post # 14
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If we get any “maybe” responses, I’ll tell them that we will “maybe” save them a seat, and “maybe” they’ll get a meal 😛  Jk… sort of.

Post # 15
Member
13012 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

A Maybe response is rude.  I’d call them and ask them to commit, or say you’re sorry they can’t come.  Wishy-washy answers don’t help when you need to give solid numbers to caterers.

Post # 16
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I truly believe that the courtesy and formality of an invitation is null and void when people don’t respond appropriately.  It is NOT rude or inconsiderate to tell them that you need a more definite answer. 

I agree with @Juliepants:  give them YET another deadline and move on.  They’ll decide whether or not they can make the extra effort!

The topic ‘RPSVP: Maybe?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors