(Closed) RSVP +1 wording…HELP

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should they note they are bringing a guest?
    Put the number of people attending next to the accept or decline line (assume they know to do it) : (8 votes)
    53 %
    Write "person's name + guest" and if they dont have a guest they will...cross it out? : (3 votes)
    20 %
    other (please explain) : (4 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    376 posts
    Helper bee

    the main envelope should say “Mr Bob Smith and Guest”

    on the M_________ line they write in the names

    Post # 4
    3720 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I agree- make sure it is clear that they have a guest. I was seriously POed for a couple weeks that my not yet Fiance wasn’t invited to my best friend’s wedding. They assumed we would have known he was invited, but there was no way to get that from the invitation. What I plan to do is:

    1) Put the name if they are FB or otherwise official (that is, the person has said “This is my girlfriend, Danielle”). The invite would go to Alex Smith and Danielle Jones.

    2) Email single people who I know asking for the name of their guest, if they plan to have one (this is to avoid random dates). I would address the invitation accordingly.

    3.) Invite any people I don’t know well enough to ask, I would write it Alex Smith and guest. However, please do minimum work to figure out if the guest has a name you should know. It is always funny when people who know we are engaged send us invitations with a “and guest”


    Post # 5
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Muckenthaler Cultural Center
    Post # 6
    828 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    On the envelope write Mr. John Doe and Guest, but on the reply card you don’t need to do anything special. They should fill out the name line to indicate whether there is a ‘guest.’

    Post # 7
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Mine looked like this because we had to leave all names at the front gate of a Garden with a entry fee prepaid by us. I’ve also seen people write — of — attending. Then you fill in the second number and they fill in the first. Or jus leave it as —attending. 

    Post # 9
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @DawnaN: I agree! thats what we did.  The one thing we did not do and whish we had done was put   # of seats have been reserved in your honor so they know not to add people you dont want coming and they know how many people in their party can come……

    So far this has only happened with one RSVP we got back but we had one of FIs family members new wife add 2 of her kids she does not have custody over and one of the kids (who is like 15 years old) boyfriend…. She put her name then +3….. We got that back and I was like uhhh what?!?    So I talked to my Future Mother-In-Law and she called to ask who the plus 3 was…. when she told her, Future Mother-In-Law was like well the invite was for you and my brother but the girls can come, the boyfriend can not as its inapropriate, he is not invited and they are trying to keep the wedding small, she then offered to pay for the 15 year olds boyfirend!!!! who does that?!?!    Future Mother-In-Law was like NO HE IS NOT INVITED!!! so now I dont think the 15 year old is coming (she is trouble anyway), YAY!!  she sent an email that said to change her RSVP to 2 🙂  

    sorry for that being so long, it just made me crazy……

    Post # 11
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    You should invite each guest by name. So there are no “guests” you call people and ask them for their SO/dates name and invite them. Technically, you should also be asking for the dates address if they do not live together and sending it to their own home.

    The more specific you are in your inviting the better the guest responses are.

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