(Closed) RSVP-Added Guest?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

This is hard do you mean you are over your capacity for the room??

Post # 4
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just call them, politely explain that while you’d love to have everyone there, unfortunately you can only accommodate those listed on the guest list, so Mr.X or Ms.Y will, unfortunately, not be able to come and you hope that they understand. 

Meet any ‘oh I’m sure there will be space/we’ll pay for their plate/lalalala’ with a simple “As I said, we unfortunately won’t be able to accommodate XYZ, I’m sorry.” Don’t give explanations, just a firm ‘No.’

Post # 5
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

If you don’t have the room or can’t afford these extra guests (or just don’t want them at your wedding–totally fine), then you need to call up your friends and explain that you cannot accommodate additional guests. Be polite but firm, and you don’t owe them any big explanations.

I’m already dealing with this myself–I’ve already gotten several requests for plus ones, and one of my friends just added a guest. I’m putting off saying anything. If we have enough no’s, then I’ll let the extra guests come. But if we get enough yes’s, then I’ll have to tell these people that we don’t have room for extra guests. It sucks, but I guess it’s all part of planning a wedding.  

Post # 6
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

If you don’t have the room or can’t afford these extra guests (or just don’t want them at your wedding–totally fine), then you need to call up your friends and explain that you cannot accommodate additional guests. Be polite but firm, and you don’t owe them any big explanations.

I’m already dealing with this myself–I’ve already gotten several requests for plus ones, and one of my friends just added a guest. I’m putting off saying anything. If we have enough no’s, then I’ll let the extra guests come. But if we get enough yes’s, then I’ll have to tell these people that we don’t have room for extra guests. It sucks, but I guess it’s all part of planning a wedding.  

Post # 7
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

There have been a ton of posts like this lately, and the general consensus on all the threads has been that it’s totally acceptable to call and tell them you don’t have enough room for them to add guests. 

I don’t know what’s up with this new trend. I would never dream of doing that!

Post # 8
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

my favorite is friends and family calling and putting me on the spot, asking if they can bring a guest when they clearly were not invited with a guest!  Arrrrggggghhhh.

Post # 9
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Have your maid or honor or mother call. That way, they can say, “we noticed that you rsvped with a guest. Unfortunately, the bride and groom can not accomodate any additional guests due to capacity constraints.”

Or something along those lines.. Some of the other posts have great ones. Anyway, your moh will probably hate it, but if she’s willing, the guest is a lot less likely to argue with her than with you if you call yourself. Many people are just clueless and don’t realize they don’t automatically get a date.

That said, you should really look at who these guests are. You really should be invited all couples in long term relationships, whether or not they are engaged or living together. How would you have felt a few years agao if your now-FI had been told to stay home?

Post # 10
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to or can’t afford to.  I mean, the royal wedding excluded a lot of plus-ones!  I’m having the same issue with added guests.  It’s tough, but just call or speak to them in person (if you see them often) and tell them you simply can’t accomodate additions or substitutions.  To make it less awkward, tell them if you have extra room they’ll be the first to know 😉  If this is still way too awkward for you, delegate the task lol!

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