Post # 1
Recently I got a wedding invite that did not have an option for declining–so I assume that the bride only wants responses from those who will be attending and will assume that those who did not respond won’t be attending.
Is there some benefit to this method? I was thinking of requesting that people respond if they will attend or not. Any ideas?
Post # 3
I’ve never seen that, but I guess it allows people to be lazy and not respond if they don’t want to attend? It also gets the point across that if you want your spot reserved, you’d better darn well RSVP!
Post # 4
Personally, that would have driven me crazy. I like knowing things for sure, and not waiting to figure out if they’re just taking their time to respond.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t do that. Some people just forget to RSVP or don’t see the need to, since they assume you know that they’re coming. I’d be questioning why if someone didn’t respond!
Post # 6
I think that’s a bad idea. We had a bunch of people who just didn’t bother RSVPing, but said they were coming when we called them. I like to get a yes or no answer from people.
Post # 7
How was it worded?
Number of persons attending ________
or something like that? If someone is not coming they would answer 0.
But it’s confusing for people. I decided to go with both an accept and decline option.
Post # 8
@GroovyHippieChick: It was worded like this:
But for me, even if it has “number attending,” as a guest I would assume that it only applies to those who are actually going to attend. So if I had to respond no, I just wouldn’t send in the card. That’s why I was wondering why the bride chose this method and thought she was aware of some RSVP trick I didn’t know about!
Post # 9
No way would I have done that. It’s 3 days before my wedding and I’m having people call to say hey! We can make it after all! Um….ok… I have no room for you…lol! I did get an invite to a wgadding that had printed on the respond postcard “if we do not receive an RSVP by April 21, 2012 we will assume you are not attending.” since it was printed on the response card, I took it as don’t bother responding if you dont plan to go. The couple is kinda crass and only because of that fact I thought it to be a rude “don’t bother” but I’m sure if any other of our friends would have sent it I wouldn’t have thought anything of it! I had a running list of responses and would type in “no” the second I got a no RSVP to keep a running count of who was coming or not at all times:p
Post # 10
@violet25: oh yeah – that’s really oddly worded. I guess the people not attending would have just entered 0 in both areas but it’s confusing.
Post # 11
I saw a response card here on the Bee with something similar, “If no reply is received by [date], we will assume you are unable to attend.” At first I was a tiny bit taken aback, but I definitely see the wisdom in it and think we might end up borrowing it. Our wedding is in the city where we met and now live, roughly halfway between our families but a trip of 5+ hours for probably 75-80% of our guests. There are a lot of friends and family members, especially on my side, whom we have to invite but are pretty sure will decline. Something similar happened with my sister’s wedding a few years back, and she had a pretty low RSVP rate (like maybe a third of people replied). Putting this on the response card makes it clear that a) if you’re coming you need to let us know, and b) if you aren’t coming and don’t want the hassle of sending in the RSVP, we will just roll with it.
It’s not ideal from an etiquette standpoint – in a perfect world, hosts wouldn’t need to do it and every guest would respond promptly. But we don’t live in a perfect world.
Post # 12
We have received one invitation that was like that. It was for a distant relative of my Darling Husband so it took us a good 10 minutes to even figure out who’s wedding we were invited to. We just didn’t respond since there was no ‘decline’ option. Apparently, the girl had to facebook my SIL and ask if anyone from her family was attending. LOL. Hey, we just followed the directions…it was check a box and return with ‘attend’ or ………….
Moral of the story. Put a decline option or you may be left hanging.