Post # 1
I am aware that I’m being irrational here. Like, enormously – but I need to vent.
My mother asked that invitations be sent to two of her friends and envelopes were duly mailed. She has not heard from these individuals since said mailing, and has decided that they must not have received the invites. And that they are angry or hurt as a result.
She e-mails me today and asks that I send an e-mail apology(?). That it is very important that they feel included.
All very well and good – except that our response deadline is tomorrow. And I have never met either of these women. That is, we haven’t even reached the point by which we asked people to RSVP and I am being asked to apologize for something beyond my control to people with whom I’m not even superficially acquainted.
The kicker – when I was sending out the invites my mother made a point of saying that these women likely wouldn’t attend.
What I want, very very very badly to say but won’t is that they likely don’t give aflip about my wedding and are taking their sweet time responding. This likely would not go over very well, however, so instead I’m ranting to Weddingbee in hopes of regaining perspective.
Post # 3
What if you call and see if they received the invitations (which I am sure they did). That way, a)dont need to apologise for nothing b) can tell mom, “Hi, I mailed out invitations to them, they didn’t respond, leave me alone I have other things to plan right now.” I love my mom, but I would say that to her in a heartbeat.
Oh and I don’t think you are being irrational about this at all!
Post # 4
??? Why did your mom decide they didn’t get the invites? That is such a ridiculous assumption to make!
In any case, I assume you’ll be starting to call guests whose RSVPs you didn’t receive soon, so you probably need to get in touch with these two anyway. At which point they will hopefully confirm receipt of their invitations and you can (politely) tell your mom how completely off base she was.
Post # 5
Your mom should be handling this, not you. While it is your wedding, these are her friends and she is the liaison between the two parties.
Tell your mother to not put you in an awkward position of calling up and apologizing to a stranger for assumptions that they 1) didn’t get the invites and 2) are so super mad. It’s going to create a very awkward position for you and the invitees.
They are your mother’s friends, she needs to reach out to them about the RSVPs. I did that with my mom with her family for my wedding. I can’t call everyone individually. Push it back on her and don’t feel bad about it.
And I hate to say it, but you’re probably right about it not being high on everyone’s priorities to reply. It’s super rude of people, but yeah, there it is.
Post # 6
My mother, apparently, is psychic?
I figure they did get the invites and have simply not said anything because, well, it’s not superhigh on the list of priorities. Hearing that would hurt her feelings though, I think, so I’m gritting my teeth.
Her expectations may have been somewhat skewed by the fact that we’re having a supersmall wedding comprised almost entirely of family. Since almost everyone called her to talk about the dang things once their invites arrived, I think she figures that’s normal.
Post # 7
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
Whaaaa why would you assume they didn’t get the invites? That’s silly! I’d tell her that she can handle calling them if it means that much to her.
Post # 8
Ah, I see. It must be nice to have a clarvoiant mom! But seriously, it is making a bit more sense now, especially if you mom feels particularly close with these women.
I am just going to put it out there, but is it possible she (your mom) is offended or hurt that they haven’t called to talk about the wedding and to her it is easier to assume they didn’t get the invitations than their not calling and congratulating her?