(Closed) RSVP curiosity — "we have reserved __ seats in your honor"

posted 4 years ago in Guests
  • poll: Was this wording successful in preventing unexpected guests who were not invited?

    Yes, guests made sure they only RSVP'd the number allowed

    No, guests still RSVP'd more than the number allowed

    No, guests RSVP'd the number allowed BUT brought unexpected guest(s) to the wedding

  • Post # 2
    Member
    13892 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We didn’t do this wording and had no one add extra guests.  If your social circle is accustomed to receiving formal invites, it’s completely unnecessary.  The outer/inner envelopes indicate who is invited to the event.  

    Post # 3
    Member
    945 posts
    Busy bee

    On our envelopes, we specifically named those invited.  As for the RSVP, we did a MadLib, so there was a place for them to sign their names of who was attending.  At the bottom of the page, we wrote _ of _ attending.  In the second blank, we wrote the number the family/friend was allotted.  We didn’t have any unexpected guests!  Yay!  Good luck 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    1602 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I know that many people find this helpful. For us, we just made sure the envelopes were addressed to the proper people and had no issues. I only had one person clarify if they could bring a date (not a girlfriend, I think he just wanted a reason to ask out a girls he’s had his eye on) and one person clarify that their baby was invited (she was). 

    Post # 6
    Member
    13548 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    FYI etiquette does not approve this language on the grounds that it insinuates that all your guests are too rude or stupid to know how to read an invitation.

    Should someone be so impolite as to reply for an uninvited guest or guests, you are supposed to call them and deal with it individually, saying that you are “sorry for the misunderstanding” etc. etc. 

    I’ve received too many wedding invitations to count and have never personally seen this wording recommended other than on the Bee and similar sites by nervous brides to be. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    13892 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    kjflores :  Can’t you call your friend who made the incorrect assumption and let her know that she didn’t get a +1, rather than using wording that suggests your guests don’t know how to read an invitation?

    Post # 10
    Member
    7892 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We used that sort of wording in our RSVPs. We didn’t get any unexpected additions, but one friend did ask if he could bring his girlfriend. For our small wedding, it was fine. Who knows if we would have gotten more requests if we hadn’t included that wording. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    7892 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

     

    View original reply
    kjflores :  

    It went something like this. We also wanted to know how many kids specifically to make sure we had enough kids’ toys for all the relevant guests. I think it was successful. It will be ok!

     

    We have reserved ___ seat(s) in your honor.

    Name(s)________________________________

    ___Happily accept
    Adults attending:___
    Children attending:___
    ___Respectfully decline

    Post # 13
    Member
    10550 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    We didn’t use this wording and didn’t have a problem with anyone adding extra guests. But we invited entire families (all kids, no age cutoff) and all SOs.

    This was our rsvp card:

    Post # 14
    Member
    1602 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    View original reply
    kjflores :  just want to make sure that you are inviting all significant others and when you say “plus one” you mean a date for a truly single guest only. Inviting significant others by name on the invitations will cut down on a lot of after the fact phone calls. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    kjflores :  I included this wording and would do it again. I believe it helped, especially as we had a “no children allowed” wedding and I didn’t want any parents thinking their kids were somehow included…and even after using this wording, AND making it very clear by word of mouth that we weren’t inviting kids, I still had an aunt show up with her two children in tow 🙄 

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