(Closed) RSVP deadline past, can I Facebook message those who have not reponded?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would send personal messages. are you sure most of the people use facebook regularly? email might be better.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Girliebride: Split up the list between you, Fiance, you parents and his parents (depending on whose guests they are) and call them all.

A mass FB message is a little too impersonal for a wedding.

Also, many people my have assumed your “RSVP by” date was a “mail this card by” date. So I’d give it a few more days for RSVPs to trickle in before making calls.

Post # 5
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would call. I feel like that is more personal. But that is just me.

Post # 6
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think a mass facebook message is kind of tacky.  We called and emailed most of our guests; I fb messaged a few friends who I knew that would be the best way to get in touch with them, but I sent individual messages to each one, not a mass message. I think particularly older guests would be put off by the facebook message.

Post # 7
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Can’t you just call people? Not everyone checks FB a lot.

Post # 8
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would definitely call each person. Easier to get responses as people might just ignore a FB message. It sucks lots of people didnt RSVP so this might take some time but you and Fiance sit down and split the list.

Post # 9
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Agree with calling people. If you aren’t that close with some guests then delegate that task to your mom or fmil. Definetly don’t Facebook message, it’s a little impersonal.

Post # 10
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Give it a few more days, because you’re likely to get a bunch more RSVP’s back in the next week or so. Then I would agree to just call them. Many people don’t check Facebook regularly.

Post # 11
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think personal facebook messages are ok for the younger crowd, but I’d email/call the older people. I also agree with the others about waiting another 2-3 days before you start reaching out.

Post # 12
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m not a phone-person, so if they were young friends I was close to, I could see an email being all right? But then if I know them well enough for an email to be non-tacky, I know them well enough to feel comfortable calling them!

Post # 13
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’d say call those people who may not regularly be on Facebook.

If there are some people you know are on FB send a private message to each person. If you send a mass email then EVERYONE on it will see the responses (and I personally HATE getting everyone else’s messages). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with FB or texting if you know the person uses that technology.

Post # 14
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

You need to call them personally.  One day is not that much time to be late (I know it is for us, the brides, but maybe they just forgot).  I would call.

Post # 15
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

There are people on my invite list that would best be best to contact by facebook, others I will call when/if the time comes. It really depends on the relationship and person.

Post # 16
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would use FB as a last resort. I know some people who ONLY respond to FB messages, ignore their cell phones and emails. Since your guests are only 1 day late, I would give them a full week (if you can, I’m not sure what your deadlines are with vendors) then start calling. If they don’t respond to your VM within 48 hours, send an email. If no response to that, maybe try FB, but still keep it a private message.

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