(Closed) RSVP Dilemma! HELP!

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: Which wording do you prefer?

    Option 1

    Option 2

  • Post # 2
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    I would do a Save the Date in April with your wedding website information.

    With so much time between the invite and RSVP, I would likely be confused or lose the invitation.

    If that wouldn’t work, I would definitely do Option 2 so guests know you’ll remind them if they provide an email.

    Post # 3
    Member
    4872 posts
    Honey bee

    I’m not sure I like either option – I thought save the date option mentioned by PP was better.

    Mostly I just came to say make sure you proofread before selecting either option – November only has 30 days.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2916 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    I think you should send a save the date instead of an invite at this time. A whole year is a long time to lose the wedding website information and forget all about submitting an email address. Include the website info on the save the date and then send a formal invitation closer to time. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Echoing the previous posters – send a save the date and follow up with the formal invitations closer to the wedding date

    Post # 6
    Member
    9239 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    Roxie_S :  Yep, what they all said. It’s not practical to send invitations a year out. I know you’re trying to be sure everyone has time to make arrangements, but that’s what Save The Dates were invented for. Also, why do you need RSVPs 5 months out? Most caterers only need final numbers a week or 2 in advance. Even if you’re paying for the hotel rooms, you said that doesn’t need to be finalized until January. And if you’re not paying for the rooms, then how does the Jan room block deadline affect your RSVPs?

    Post # 7
    Member
    8062 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Fellow Destination Wedding bride here. 

    Do a save the date 1 year in advance. Why is your deadline November for an April wedding? That is waaay too long. people may not even be able to book time off until the new year. I would push back with your hotel about moving the deadline until Feb. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee

    Send the website now without the formal invitation.

    Maybe with a message letting them know there is a website with all the information they need to start booking their trip and that formal invitations will follow. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    777 posts
    Busy bee

    Send all the information, along with the website information. You could put something like ‘formal invitation to follow at a later date’. With destination weddings you can never be too far in advance with all the details! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    4872 posts
    Honey bee

    Yes, sending the website now and formal invitation later makes more sense and is not redundant.  One is a heads up, one is the actual invitation.

    The invitation is for a specific event – your wedding and reception.  Unless you are arranging and paying for flights and accommodations, you don’t need to know anything else other than will they be attending the wedding and reception so you can give a head count to your caterer – which is not something your caterer needs 5 months in advance.  Even for hotel blocks, you don’t need to know….they just need to know that the block ends by January so if they want a guaranteed room they need to book by that date, but they are free to go wild on their own and book anywhere they want any other time.

    You aren’t inviting people to take a specific flight with you.  You aren’t inviting people to hang out at the airport or stay in a hotel room with you.  All you are doing is giving them a heads up that the event you will formally be inviting them to later is going to be in a far away location that will require greater than usual planning on their part if they want to attend and the website is a courtesy to provide them information to make booking easier.  But if they think they can’t afford it and then get a windfall like an inheritance or bonus at their job for Christmas and now suddenly they can afford it and want to book a flight and make their own arrangements, that is their prerogative.  You don’t need to know how the sausage gets made…You just need to know the end result in time to let your caterer know the final number a couple weeks in advance, just like any other wedding.  It is everyone else’s responsibility to figure out the logistics of how to attend the actual event.  I guarantee asking for commitments too far in advance will drive you crazy because people who seemed so excited will have a change in heart or circumstances later and change their plans and you may have some who seemed like firm no’s have a change in situation that now allows them.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3388 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    For UK guests you just need to say RSVP via the website by X date.

    The ‘reserved X number of seats’ thing is a very American phrase and won’t make sense to UK guests.

    The other thing I will say, when planning a wedding it is so tempting to try to organise everyone. Your guests are adults, they know that flights get more expensive the closer you get to the wedding, they know hotels book up, they know they need to RSVP. Try not to add extra stress for yourself by planning their holiday for them.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3388 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    View original reply
    Roxie_S :  Naked people on your invite …ooo Matron… 🙂

     

    When people RSVP, if they RSVP for more than the number invited you just need to tell them. The thing is, with a destination wedding you are less likely to get randoms rsvp’d for as it is not like they are just going down the road for it.

    It is pretty standard that if you’re name isn’t on the invite, you’re not invited

    The topic ‘RSVP Dilemma! HELP!’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors