Post # 1
We haven’t even sent out invitations yet but we’re already getting regrets from people we sent Save-The-Date Cards to.
Some of them are completely expected, but there are a few people (My great aunt and uncle) that I really thought would come, even though it is a bit of a trip for them (flight or long drive).
It makes me really sad that people aren’t coming. Now I’m getting afraid that no one will come (okay, I know THAT won’t happen, but I’m afraid we’re going to have 50% decline rate) becase we’re having it here.
Anyone else deal with this? How do you stay positive?
Post # 3
@MsGinkgo: Have you never in your life had to decline an invitation? Just don’t take it so personally.
Post # 4
Also, keep in mind that their plans could change and they may be able to come after all. You still send them an invitation.
Post # 5
@julies1949: of course I have. I knew not everyone could make it – it just sucks a little bit getting the no’s already, especially from people you really thought WOULD make it.
I’m having a hard time with the fact that my paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather likely won’t be there (they have both had declining health in the last year) so that’s part of it I think. We’ve already got about 10 declines out of the 118 on the list.
Post # 6
=[ A bride’s worst fear! You never know, they may decide that they can make it afterall, a STD isn’t an invitation, so still send them an invite.
Post # 7
@MsGinkgo: I agree – still send the invite as you never know what might change between now and your wedding day. Also, do you have some other peoply you could potentially invite now that you may have more seats available?
Ultimately, you have no control over how many people are able to attend. Don’t stress the things you can’t change – it just takes away from the enjoyment of the wedding day build-up 🙂
Post # 8
@MsGinkgo: I think you need to acknowledge that some of your disappointment may be due to the fact that your grandmother and your grandfather have health issues and that the declined RSVP is just the trigger. In other words… you might be feeling blue because this is a pretty solid reminder that they are not as young or healthy as they used to be, and it’s hard to see the people we love getting old and frail.
Post # 9
@MsGinkgo: two things.
just know that the people who are meant to be at your wedding will be there.
and, it will cost less if fewer people come.
always try to find the silver lining and stay positive. your marriage is what it’s all about. stay focused, grasshopper.
Post # 10
@MsGinkgo: I’m going through the same thing with my fiance’s family. We’re having the wedding in MA and 99% of his family and friends are in the South or other parts of the country. We’ve heard through his mom that not a lot of his family will be able to make it, and we expected that, but so far we haven’t heard back from a single member of his family or friends (besides his parents and sister, who were always coming). I made a prelim seating chart and there are 5 full tables of people that haven’t yet responded – and they’re all from his side! I’m so worried that our wedding will consist of 100 of my family members and friends and 8 members of his family.
Post # 11
@TwoStatesBride: lol very true – FH is happy every time I tell him someone’s not coming, he just thinks of how much money each person costs – it adds up!
@Horseradish: it’s true – both my grandparents used to be such energetic people, I always assumed they’d be there. My grandfather is 99 years old! My grandmother is almost 79. Neither are young anymore. It just makes me sad, and I know they wish they could be here, it just doesn’t seem feasible at this point.