(Closed) RSVP Drama :(

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think you should have to spend that much money on more RSVPs. Why does she think those people won’t come to the reception?

Post # 4
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think it would be a good idea to have your Future Mother-In-Law call the ones she suspects will only be coming to the ceremony. That will definetly save you some money.

Post # 6
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would have her call them, and provide you with a definitive list. In my life I’ve never seen an rsvp card that asks for that information – why would you have thought to put that on there? 

Post # 7
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with   @meanttobee: 

It wasn’t necessary to include “ceremony only” on the RSVP. Usually, an RSVP would imply  you would be attending both.

If you get their return RSVP card with a yes, and no indication on the card about their attendance at only the reception (they may write it in) I would have Future Mother-In-Law ask if they are planning on attending the dinner or not since they are her relatives. You definately don’t want to pay more for plates no one is going to eat!!

Post # 9
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, I’ve been to a TON of weddings and never, ever received an RSVP that specifies whether you will attend the ceremony or reception only. I think its generally assumed that checking “yes” means you will attend the entire duration of the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

So funny- I have never even heard of that as an option either! 

Post # 13
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

It is not polite to invite people to only the ceremony, so I don’t think this would be a selection ever on a card.

 

Post # 15
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Is the ceremony at a church? It ought to be understood that if one is attending the church service only, that one regrets to decline the dinner-dance invitation. You don’t need to “accept” the church-service invitation, because church services are always open to everyone.

Traditionally, even civil legal ceremonies are open to everyone, but with private venues, resort venues, rewrites of the civil code and so on, that is less certain nowadays. I smiled at my own prejudices when you said “of course the RSVP cards”. I “of course” don’t use R.s.v.p. cards, neither as a hostess nor as a guest. I would expect guests who are making a non-standard reply, such as accepting half of an invitation (?), to hand-write a proper note clarifying that little detail.

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