(Closed) RSVP Drama!!

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
34 posts

I don’t think you can expect your caterer to be prepared “just in case” unless you are willing to pay for it.  They still have to buy all the inggredients, prep, and cook.

That said, if people aren’t responding, then it is completely fair to count them as a “no.” And you are down to only being over by 7 people.  If anyone wants to take issue with it you can tell them they are welcome to attend the ceremony but since they did not respond as requested no dinner will be prepared for them.

Post # 4
47439 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
NYE2014:  Have you passed your rsvp date? If so text or email those people and say “Having not heard from you and being past the rsvp date, our caterer has collected final numbers and we had to consider you a “no”.

Post # 5
1405 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

When is your wedding? Later this month?

Get someone in the family to contact those 10 you are unsure about and get a definite answer. Everyone has to do this. My own SISTER did not RSVP, and when I called, she said that of course she was coming, and added, “Didn’t I send the little card back?”

What kind of people invite themselves to a wedding or any other event? I can’t imagine asking someone, “Can I come?” especially at this late date.

Keep in mind, there are likely to be some no-shows out of that many people. You pay for people and then they just do not come to the wedding, often offering some lame excuse afterward or no excuse at all.

Can you cut costs anywhere else? We save money by running a tab on the bar rather than going with the flat rate per person. It actually came out hundreds of dollars cheaper.

Post # 6
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Your caterer has a per-head fee. It’s unrealistic to expect they are going to cut you some sort of deal because you’re struggling getting solid RSVP numbers. Of course they are going to tell you to scale up if you’re unsure; they won’t be able to just run out to the corner market and pick up a few more chicken breasts when Uncle Ted shows up unexpectedly with his family of 5. And you are buying the full service from them: you’re buying 10 extra head count, not 5 pounds of chicken, 2 cups of cooking wine, etc… 

You’ll have to either pay for some extras just in case, or get the stragglers to commit to an answer, or tell them that you’re counting them as No’s. The alternative would be to only have the caterer prepare food for the known attendees which then creates a mess over how to handle the random people who show up without having RSVP’ed first.

Post # 7
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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NYE2014:  Similar thing happened to me… 12 more people RSVP’d yes then i was expecting. We had like a 5% decline rate even though it is a Destination Wedding AND right before christmas *sigh* luckily the caterer is okay with it.

I did what  

View original reply
julies1949:  suggested, of the people that didn’t respond (after many attempts) i told them i hope they are doing okay as i havent heard from them, but the deadline for the caterer has passed so i will consider them a no. I would not pay extra “in case” they show up, that would be difficult for your caterer to plan for. 

Post # 8
9841 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sorry but I’m with the caterer on this one. Either you pay for those people in advance or not. You can’t expect them to buy all the extra ingredients etc and have them possibly go to waste because your guests were no shows.

Post # 11
47439 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
NYE2014:  You are not univiting them. They have been incredibly rude by not rsvp’ing

The topic ‘RSVP Drama!!’ is closed to new replies.

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