(Closed) RSVP Drama

posted 10 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh that’s a tough one. I would try to be frank with them.  Especially since their rsvp card said that they had a certain number of seats reserved.  Just explain that while you would love for their son to be able to bring a date, it is just not feasible for you and your Fiance. 

Post # 4
Member
28 posts
Newbee

I’m sorry they are being so difficult. I realize now that people who are not planning their own wedding at the time, might often forget the etiquette.

If I were you, I would call (or email), but calling is always best. And explain that as much as you would love to have "Eric’s"  girlfriend there, you are unfortunately on a tight budget and are unable to accomodate extra people at this time. We are very excited to see the three of you on our special day.

 

Post # 5
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Nope, don’t let them get away with this.  Do exactly what the PP have suggested.  Call, explain sweetly that gosh, you’d love to meet Eric’s new girlfriend, but you have limited space at your venue and fire codes won’t allow you to add any more guests.  The invitation was intended to invite only the people it was addressed to.  (And look on the bright side.  Maybe they’ll decide to get really offended and not come at all!  I know that’s not very nice, but it doesn’t sound like these cousins are very nice either.)

Post # 6
Member
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yes, unfortunately it’s time to be blunt and tough. Seeing as how she treated your mother, it shouldn’t be too hard not feeling sorry for them. Don’t leave any room for them to assume there might be room. Call and say we have no room other than 3 for your family, I wouldn’t even apologize, they might see it as a weakness :/ good luck!

Post # 7
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

AGREEEE! 

MelissaB had the same thought I did, that maybe they wouldn’t end up coming at all.

Post # 8
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Call and tell them about the space constraint (using budget can lead to the uncomfortable offer to pay for the extra person) and that you are sorry your cousin can’t bring a date….be firm!  What she did was rude and by not even putting a name, it seems like there is a good chance there is no gf, just a yet-to-be-determined date!

Post # 9
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2007 - Hyatt Lodge, Oak Brook IL

Well, since this is a relative on your dad’s side, could you ask him to make that request?

Post # 10
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

@ emerald: I agree with you.

Since the parents are hosting th event, and it’s your father’s family that is causing the problem, he is probably the best for the job. He should contact them and explain that only 3 seats have been reserved for their family. Blame it on size restraints within the venue.

Post # 11
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I agree with the other posters in that you should NOT let these people bully or intimidate you into letting their son bring some random girl that you don’t know to your wedding.

Be sure to frame it in terms of space rather than budget, and whatever you do, be firm. Explain that your caterer/planner/whomever has told you that there is no extra wiggle room in the numbers allowed, and you’re sorry that the date will be unable to attend. Also let them know (if there really will be) that there will be other kids their son’s age at the wedding and you’d be happy to seat them at a table together, so that he won’t feel awkward if he comes alone.

Post # 13
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Haha. Your retort about the cake is delightful. It kills me when anyone (brides included) act like they are the only one allowed to have an event on a particular day! I had a friend tell me that I couldn’t use April 10th for my wedding because it’s her DATING anniversary with her boyfriend. Really? 🙂

Post # 14
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

If her birthday is that important it’s probably best that she stay home and blow out her candles, insead of going to your wedding.  I think if someone was behaving like that to me, I would love to personally call them and tell them they can’t bring the extra.  Bring on the fight.

Sorry, I’m not helping.  But I’d still do it.

The topic ‘RSVP Drama’ is closed to new replies.

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