(Closed) RSVP Due Date is Tomorrow…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t worry, I have a bunch of family who work for the post office and they are BOGGED down with mail this time of year. Maybe they haven’t gotten to you as quickly as the senders hope because of the giant amount of Christmas cards and gifts being processed right now. 

Post # 4
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would start calling to ask about three days after they are due. Some people may think that the date on the RSVP is when they need to send it to you, not thinking it is the actual date you wanted them to arrive back at your house.

Post # 5
Member
8279 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I waited an extra week or so and then started calling people. :/  It really sucks!

Post # 6
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

When does your caterer need the final count? I would wait until about 2 weeks before that date, and start calling those that have not responded. It’s possible that some of them are tied up in the mail, or more likely that a few people don’t understand the urgency in responding before the given date, and will mail them in the next few days.

Post # 7
Bee
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

That totally happened to me. I texted/called the rest of the people right away. I called my friends and close family members, had my parents call their friends and some of the older relatives, and Darling Husband took care of his side. (Well, his mom called his family members, and he called his friends.) Instead of waiting and waiting, I honestly think it feels better to just contact them and know for sure if they’re coming – my stress level went down a lot once we got our final number of guests, because then I could 1) tell the caterers our final number, 2) finish DIY projects like programs and escort cards, and 3) finally know exactly how much the reception would cost.

It does suck, especially when you hear from other MARRIED people “Oops sorry, we forgot to mail it to you!” – but it didn’t take as long as I expected to call/text everyone on the MIA list.

Post # 8
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I am getting married the same day as you and I mailed them the same time you did. I also have only gotten back about half, so I am with you on feeling frustrated. My deadline was December 15th on the RSVP, so I have a few more days. I expect at least a few more to roll in. I am going to call the people who have not responded 1 week after the deadline. I also am not going to assume that they did not mail it back, just in case they did and it got lost in the mail. I need a firm number for my caterer so I will need to know if they are coming. It would be nice if everyone would just send it back right away, but I know that never happens, so I knew it would probably come to me calling a few people. I will call the people on my side and my Fiance will call the people on his side to make it less awkward for me. I know it will all work out and here’s to hoping for a beautiful day for both of us!

Post # 9
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I refused to call anyone.  They are adults, the know the drill. I had much better things to do than hunt down people. 

Only had a few no shows.  100 out of 115 invited attended.

 

Post # 11
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

we had about 50 ppl who didn’t rsvp by the due date so we waited a week and then called, emailed, texted, and fb messaged them to track them down.  some of them were really hard to get ahold of!  everyone told me that usually ppl who don’t rsvp in time are no’s, but about half of them ended up being yes’s and half were no’s.  

Post # 12
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

This sucks.  I had over 100+ people not RSVP by the deadline.   I started hunting people down.  Most of them I left messages for.   They all said they were coming and I had 60 no shows.  I am still beyond pissed.  My suggestion is to call and try to track them down.  If anyone is acting flaky, just put a big fat NO by their name.

Post # 13
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Our deadline is January 5– I’ve gotten a handful of cards back, mostly from family and people in the wedding party that we knew were going to be there. Like you, I also worked for our caterer and am doing heavy hor d’oeurves instead of a plated meal, which will be saving out fannies financially since we ended up adding an extra 107 ppl to the guest count (potential count) once we added in some extra family…who we’ve never met. :sigh:

January 27 cannot come fast enough!

Post # 14
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I wonder why I even bothered to use stamps and return envelopes. My RSVP deadline is January 18th (I am having a destination wedding).  We have only gotten just over 25% of our guests responses and some of them were just in passing in conversation, they never were planning to send back the RSVP card.  I just cannot wait until April 20th!  I really wish we kept a smaller guest list now.

Post # 15
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Oh my goodness, I had the same problem! Hardly anyone RSVP’ed. Luckily, our wedding is out of town for most of our guests, so we could use process of elimination to know who would be coming and who wouldn’t be. We then contacted the ones that we knew would not be coming if they had not RSVP’ed. Just take a deep breath! It will all come together! 🙂 

Post # 16
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Sugaree: As PPs have said, divide and conquer!  My fiance contacted his folks, I reached out to mine, and my Grandmother helped me with the older folks.  

@nyota526:  We’re date twins!  And I’ll be shimmying over to the Caribbean after the wedding!

 

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