Post # 1
I have been scouring the archives and have found plenty of info on RSVP etiquette, but couldn’t find a direct answer to this:
I will be at my shower this weekend and will be seeing some people who have yet to RSVP to the wedding and parent’s of non-RSVP-ers. My deadline is will be less than a week away at that point. Most of the people who haven’t RSVP’d are the forgetful type… would it be okay to work in something along the lines of “we can’t wait to get your RSVP back?” There seems to be a lot of people against reminding others of the deadline. Personally, if somebody mentioned in in a conversation about the wedding (likely to happen at a wedding shower) I wouldn’t be offended, whereas if somebody sought me out before the deadline I honestly would be a bit taken aback (though usually if I am cutting it close I let the person asking know why as a courtesy).
Secondly, I have the dreaded “B-list”. Some of my friends know I only had room to invite 8 friends on the first go around and are completely okay with being B-listed, others still consider the b-list rude. Anyway, I forgot to order RSVPs with a second deadline AND in one spot it mentions that rooms will be blocked until April 30th (before when some people will even receive the invite). I am at a loss on how to get the people the information they need without it being thrown in their face that they are B-list guests… any thoughts on how to do so?
Thanks so much hive!
Post # 2
Where does it say the deadline and the hotel mention? Is it all on the RSVP card? I think your only option would be to print new cards. Otherwise it’s going to be pretty evident that their invite was an afterthought.
Post # 3
MSUbee: I think saying “we can’t wait to get your RSVP back” sounds too pushy. I would say something more along the lines of “I can’t wait to see you at the wedding” or “I hope we’ll see you again at the wedding” which opens the door for them to tell you that they won’t be able to make it or something.
B Listing is rude so I can see why your friends would be offended and I find it more offensive to ignore the fact that you KNOW they would be offended and try to hide it from them instead. Accept your initial invite list for what it is and don’t invite lesser friends after the fact.
Post # 4
You picked the deadline, if you wanted to know earlier you should have had an earlier date. It is rude to remind people of a deadline that hasn’t yet passed. But definitely feel free to follow up with them after the deadline.
Your only option is to print new cards if you don’t want people to know they are B-listed. They dont’ have to be fancy or the same as the originals, just something with a correct date will be fine.
Post # 5
MSUbee: The correct method of reminding someone to RSVP is to say “I wanted to make sure you had received your invitation. Has it arrived yet?”