(Closed) RSVP Etiquette… not me but wanted to know WWYD

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@MommaMe020911:  As the bride, I would call the invited guest and politely let them know we couldn’t accomodate more than the 2 invited.  If I were you in that situation, I would immediately call the bride and apologize profusely and let her know that only you and your daughter were coming.  And then I would have a serious talk with your mother.

Post # 4
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Lol, that seems kinda rude, but sounds like your mother didn’t mean it to be like that. As the family member, I would contact the Bride/Groom and tell them what happened. If they are like.. “oh, no big deal! The more the merrier!” then no harm done. If they are on a tight budget, you could tell them you’d like to change your RSVP to 2, and break the news to your mother. As the bride, in my case it depends on how many people RSVP’ed yes, but I think as a general rule most brides have a certain number planned for, and if we accepted everyone’s random plus ones (or self invites) it would get out of control!

Post # 5
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Moose1209: I’d do exactly what you said!  Exactly.  I’m nervous enough that someone will take it upon themselves to invite a plus 1 let alone a plus 2!

Post # 6
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I dont know about you but @ 100 dollars a plate I’d be pretty peeved if your mom (who I didn’t invite in the first place)  just FOUND a date in the meantime. As the bride I would call you up and explain we cannot accomodate the extra people. As the person who made the mistake I would definetly call the bride up and apologize because this is an awkward situation for them too….they maybe wondering whether or not to just let it slide.



Post # 7
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Omg I’d be mortified!  I would immediately call the bride and tell her to knock two off the list and explain the situation to her.  No way I’d bring my mother and her conjured up date to a dinner worth $100 PP, give or take.

Post # 8
5476 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

I would be so embarassed! Call the bride and explain to her the situation and let your mom down! If the bride says that it is ok.. then I guess your mom gets away with this one! By The Way my daughter goes to school in plantation 😀

Post # 9
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Moose1209:  Agreed.

Boundaries have been crossed here…in many ways.

As the bride, I’d be trying to figure out WTH I was going to say to you…and I’d be really upset that you (because she’s going to think that you did this, not your mom) just added 2 extra people to your invite.  So, given that the error was your mother’s, but it was your invite, it’s on you to pre-emptively call this poor woman and tell her your mom completely overstepped and you’re mortified.  Apologize profusely.  

If it were my family member, I would be furious because a) she opened your mail, b) she didn’t tell you about it, c) she rudely RSVP’d for herself and a date AND you…when she didn’t even know that you could go, and d) put you in the position where you had to apologize for her lack of manners.  

Not cool.

ETA: If I were that bride, I’d be on the phone as soon as I figured out how to politely tell you that your mom and date were not on the list of guests.  I would probably think that your mom was a bit nuts, to be honest…and I’d think twice about sending mail to your house.  lol

Post # 10
1363 posts
Bumble bee

Wow, how long ago was this? Did you already attend the wedding or if it hasn’t happened yet could you call the bride and apologise?

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