Post # 1
As we’re getting closer to sending out the invitations, (and after reading some serious horror stores) I’m growing a little anxious about guests going crazy with the plus ones.
I’ve been seeing a few RSVP cards on the Bee where brides have a line that says “number of seats have been reserved for you”. I suggested this to my mom, and she kinda turned her nose up at it and told me it was tacky. I didn’t really understand why she felt this way as I think it’s perfectly fine.
Thoughts on this topic?
Post # 2
OMGMrsW2B: Eh, I did this. If anyone thinks it’s tacky, they don’t have to come to the wedding lol.
Post # 3
I too think it’s a brilliant idea, though I could see my mom responding similarly to your mom. We have a relatively small wedding venue, so surprise guests could throw us past the max limit for the building. Plus, we really want to keep it an intimate event. We’re also going to have a space on the RSVP to mention how many adults and how many kids, so in that sense, the “number of seats” part could be interpreted as us welcoming kids at our wedding.
Post # 4
OMGMrsW2B: That line is the best thing the Bee ever taught me. I don’t think it’s tacky but this is coming from someone who threw her invitations through the meter at work. And yes, I paid for them.
Post # 5
bbbria: Haha. I like the way you think. I thought it was a great idea when I saw a friend of mine do it, and here on the Bee.
Post # 6
OMGMrsW2B: In previous threads, the reason that the etiquette experts have given for not liking this choice is twofold:
1. people should know that the only ones invited are the ones named on the invitation(well we all know that isn’t true for a huge number of people!)
2. if you tell them that you have reserved 2 seats, they may then assume that they are free to bring someone else if one of them can’t make it. After all, you have given them 2 seats.
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s tacky. If she is really opposed to it on the invite, I would ask her if she is willing to cover the cost of any additional “write in” guests . . . . that is, if your venue can hold any additional people.
Post # 8
I’ve only recieved one invite that didn’t have a # of seats reserved for you line and that wedding didn’t require any RSVPs at all. I don’t think its tacky, its smart.
Post # 9
Not tacky. I actually had people that thanked me for doing it, because it takes away the possibility of confusion
Post # 10
OMGMrsW2B: I did this for my RSVPs and people still added people! I had a few that were like this:
2 seats have been reserved in your honor
and they filled in:
4 guests will be attending
REALLY?! But I definitely don’t think it’s tacky to put it on there.
Post # 11
Ellie85: HAHA. Oh my goodness! People start doing the weirdest things when it comes to RSVPing to weddings.
Post # 12
The reasoning is that it is considered less than polite to imply that your guests can’t read an invitation or that they can’t be trusted.
PP bring up an excellent point, which is that it may imply they are free to bring anyone if someone named on the invitation can’t attend.
People are so clueless that no matter what you do, you will have someone that is confused or clueless. Personally, I’d rather cater to the sensibilities of people who have common sense enough to know you don’t add your own names. Worst comes to worst, you may have to make a few phone calls. Chances are you will, for one reason or another, anyway.
Post # 13
OMGMrsW2B: I too plan on doing this on my RSVP cards. We have a strict number of guests we have to stay under or we break the fire code for the venue! I think it’s practical!
Ellie85: OMG this is my fear! Did you call and correct them? Or just let them bring extra?
Post # 14
It took time, but I combined my RSVPs with menu selection —
So there would be lines like this.
John Smith Will Attend Will not Attend Fish Steak Vegan
Mary Smith Will Attend Will not Attend Fish Steak Vegan
Please RSVP by March 15
Post # 15
LegallyBrunetteBee: We had two different people do this. I was super annoyed, but by the time we’d gotten these, we’d had enough people say they couldn’t come that we just said whatever to it.
But what’s bad is that one of the couples that did this was DH’s aunt and uncle. When his mom called to get their address for save the dates, his aunt’s sister was there and apparently she and her husband wanted to come. DH had never met this other couple. His parents had never met them. They weren’t really family since it was his aunt by marriage so it was basically DH’s dad’s brother’s wife’s sister and her husband. But they wanted to come. We just didn’t send them a save the date or invite thinking they would get the hint. Guess not. We also did not get a card or gift from any of them.