Post # 1
I’ve been wrestling a question. My husband and I were invited to a friend’s wedding in September. My husband works shift works and only knows his schedule for two weeks at a time and sometimes does not receive his new schedule until a few days before it starts. Of course, the bride needs a response sooner than this. So, I went ahead and RSVP’d yes for both of us in the hopes that he will have that day off or can switch with a coworker to get it off. If it turns out that he can’t attend, what’s the best way to handle this? Should I call the bride and tell her no (and throw off her numbers), not say anything and bring another friend to keep her numbers unchanged or call her and giver her the option of the above options and ask her to let me know her preference. Help!
Post # 3
I would say definitely call the bride. I know I would really appreciate to be kept in the loop if it were me and I wouldn’t want you to bring someone else in place of your husband. She might be able to include someone else whom she couldn’t invite or maybe it’s not too late to tell the caters so she doesn’t have to eat the cost.
Post # 4
I would call her and explain the situation and ask what she would prefer if he’s not able to make the wedding. Definitely don’t just bring someone else to the wedding without her permission if your husband can’t go.
Post # 5
I would deff call her and let her know he cant come. I would be really mad if someone swapped a guest on me because I dont want people at my wedding I dont know.
Post # 6
Definitely call the bride. You’ll make her more upset if you bring a different guest than your husband.
Post # 7
Thank you everyone for your feedback! This is always a big dilemma for us. Having been a recent bride, I completely realize why bride’s request responses more than a few days before the wedding. But, for me it’s just not always possible. So, I’ve gone back and forth with between responding yes for me and maybe for my husband and doing like I did for this wedding and responding yes for both of us with a plan to adjust if necessary. I agree that if he can’t, I’ll just call the bride. I hate to bother any bride close to the wedding date but I do agree with your advice that’s it’s best to let her make the call her. As always, I love the advice I get from the hive!!!
Post # 8
if it were me, I’d call the bride, explain the situation, and see what she says. Also, is it possible your husband could request the time off at work since it’s so early? I know that at two hospitals around here, you have to put in two months early (ok, for one definitely, but I think it’s a month or two for the other).
the worse his job can say is “sorry, but how it falls is how it falls”….
Post # 9
@Ryna – Logic would say he would just request the time off of work. But, with his job they never tell him whether the time off is approved or not. We literally have to wait till the schedule comes out to know. There have been times when he has submitted a request and not heard that it was denied so we assumed that it was approved only to receive the schedule and see him on it. It can be very frustrating but at this point, we’re just trying to learn to deal with it as smoothly as possible.
Post # 10
@FallFlowers: ugh. one of those places… that bites. at wal-mart, when I worked there, it was a running joke amongst a lot of us that you’d have to have your own death preapproved! (yes, we were a morbid bunch, lol).
so, sooo sorry you have to deal with such stress and hassle. 🙁 hopefully the bride will understand and be sympathetic.
also, don’t forget that things come up and not everyone who RSVP’s yes are always able to show up. so even if he can’t come, I doubt he’ll be the only one unable to show. still sucks, though. 🙁 maybe he’ll get approved this time with prior notice!!! 🙂