Post # 1
My RSVP has come and gone for almost a fortnight and I’m now making the effort to follow up about 4 invites (mix of singles and couples).
Considering they haven’t even bothered to RSVP on time, I wasn’t surprised when these people also gave vague, wishy-washy “maybe” replies. Such as one couple who I attending their wedding and used to be pretty close to, but considering we live too far apart to be physically able to catch up (opposite sides of the city), we’ve gradually drfted abit.
Or a family friend who has to work shifts/ roster so it’s hard to say what she decides as my wedding is also on a long weekend (meaning she’ll get double pay).
I’m tempted to just leave as is and if they turn up on the day, then see if any empty seats available and let them stay. Do you think this is a good idea, or not?
At $110 a plate, I’m not too keen to cater to people that can’t decide if they want to share my special day or not…opinions?
Post # 3
Um no. Tell them you need a response by x date or they will be marked as a ‘no’. What the heck is wrong with them. How rude.
Post # 4
Just let them know.. if they aren’t sure they are going to make it, you’ll check them as a no.
It is a tad rude to be so harsh.. but it’s also rude to be so vague about it – and at that cost, i totally see your point.
Post # 5
“Maybe” replies are unacceptable. Phone them and ask if they’re attending. If they say “maybe”, then you tell them, “Well I’m going to have to take as a ‘no'”. That way they know they’re not on the list and can’t just turn up if there’s nothing good on TV.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I think you need to tell them that you need a final answer by, say, Friday because you have to pay your vendors and you cannot wait any longer.
Post # 7
Wow, lots of tough love here, I like that!
Just thought I could “kill 2 birds with1 stone” scenerio where someone fails to turn up. :-p
Post # 8
- Wedding: January 2013 - Atrium at the Curtis Center
Maybes are not ok in my book – I’ve told my guests we need a yes or no answer, and there are still 2 we haven’t heard from AT ALL. I am assuming they are no’s and not including them in the final count.
Post # 9
I am already thinking about our RSVP follow up strategy. We have a big guest list and some guests who have no idea about wedding/social RSVP etiquette. I’m certain some of them have never been to a wedding with assigned tables, and they have no clue about why an exact RSVP is so important.
1. We are doing RSVP via website and phone. I am going to try to put something nicely in there about needing full information and if they are bringing a guest so the whole party can be seated together.
2. For people that I suspect RSVP’d incorrectly (where I’d be surprised if they didn’t bring a guest), we’ll just give them a call and tell them we are so glad they’re coming, and we wanted to verify it was just them because we are doing seating arrangements and wouldn’t want them to be separated from their guest.
3. For people who don’t RSVP, the first thing I am going to do is give them an “out” when we call to follow up on the RSVP. I think this is key – giving them permission to say no or to save face by saying they never got the invitation. It can be awkward to tell someone you aren’t coming to their wedding, particularly face to face/over the phone, so I want to make it okay for them to tell us. It will probably go something like “Hey John, how are you? (pause) Hey, the reason I’m calling is because we sent out wedding invitations several weeks ago and haven’t heard back from you. Did you receive it? (pause) Hey, we totally understand that it is a long drive and people have lots of stuff going on. It is completely fine if you can’t make it. We do need to give a final count to the caterer later this week though and are doing assigned seating, so we need to get an exact list of who is coming. Are you planning to come?”
Post # 10
I got a couple of maybe’s and worded it like this. “I’m sorry, but I have to have a definite yes or no. At $100 a head I have to be exact in my numbers to give to the caterer.”
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
After our deadline, I sent out an email something like this-
“Hi! We just wanted to follow up with you in regards to your wedding RSVP. We need to let our caterer know by DATE- if we haven’t heard from you by then, we’ll have to consider you a no. Hope you’ll be celebrating the big day with us.”
Worked perfectly. And if someone doesn’t respond to your email, and actually shows up and doesn’t have a seat? Tough $%^&^. 🙂
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence
Yup, I put out the word post-RSVP date: if you don’t get back to me with an answer by X time, you are considered a no and there will be no chair for you. Harsh, but I had to do it, and lo and behold, none of our mystery guests actually showed up.
Post # 13
I’d tell them I’m treating them as a No unless I get a final, for sure response by X date. Don’t save seats or meals.
Post # 14
I agree with others send a final phonecall/email/text them these people you need to give the final numbers to your vendors. So if they don’t respond, you will have to put them down as a no.
Post # 15
If someone told me maybe I’d tell them I’m not paying for them/saving them a seat.
I am dreading the RSVP hell I have coming up this year.
Post # 16
@TwoCityBride: Looks like its heading this way! So many unreachable people, just worrying it may be due to the silly season and people are just on holidays, etc.