(Closed) RSVP & Gift List Frustrations!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
719 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like your RSVP deadline is only just approaching if you are getting married in 1 month.  To be honest, unless you’re one of my best friends or a family member whose wedding I wouldn’t miss for the world, I’m probably not going to RSVP until your deadline.  I probably want greater visibility into what’s going on in my life at the time, a chance to think about it, and a chance to hear whether others are planning on attending.  I think you have to put yourself in your guests’ heads.  People get a lot of wedding invitations and attend a lot of weddings.

As for the gifts, people can choose to buy off your registry or not.  Everyone knows it’s out there.  Everyone knows that the information is likely on your website.  Let the chips fall where they may.

Post # 4
2685 posts
Sugar bee

With our wedding, we got several RSVP’s after the deadline.  Of the ones who didn’t rsvp by the deadline, two were out of the country visiting family when the invitation arrived, one had just changed jobs, one moved to a new place and forgot to tell us the new address, and one found out she was pregnant.  You never know what’s going on in peoples’ lives when they have your invite, so give them the benefit of the doubt.  If you have mutual friends/family members with these guests, maybe have them bring it up casually to see if they can get an answer.  Otherwise, just keep messaging them until you get an answer.

Regarding the registry, there will always be some guests who choose not to use the registry.  That is their decision, whether you like it or not.  You’ve put the information out there for guests, and it’s up to them to decide how they want to give.  That’s really all you can do at this point.

Post # 5
4892 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Our RSVP deadline was September 19, for our October 17 wedding. I wanted enough time in between to be able to track people down that didn’t RSVP, before I had to give the numbers to the reception venue.

Currently, we are still waiting on about 15 people.

I did reach out to a couple friends last night who I hadn’t heard from, and found out that they never got my invitation – so that was interesting to hear and the first they had mentioned it – yet knew they were invited. So, I’m resending invitations to them today and hope to hear back from them once they’re received.

Registries give people an idea of what they could buy you, but don’t necessarily have to. And, if you have a wedding website and people can view that information there – they’ll be informed on what gifts you’d prefer to give… but can still do what they want.

Post # 6
2698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

megtee:  I’m not looking forward to the dreaded RSVP. Not sure why it’s so hard for everyone…

My advice for the people not responding is that they don’t want to go. I would send a quick email or message saying something like, ‘sorry you can’t make it to the wedding, but we look forward to catching up with you afterwards! :)’- always the smiley face to show you’re not mad. Lol. Then they’ll respond correcting you that they can go, or just let it go because you’ve given them an easy way out. Win Win.

Post # 7
7 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

My RSVP deadline is today!

Still waiting on about 30 people. Thankfully that’s for the second reception, which is the day after the wedding, but still.

I mean that one was easy, too, just text or call me!


Post # 8
46670 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

megtee:  If you are past the rsvp date, you can contact our potential guests and be more direct than just reminding them. You can tell them “Our venue requires our numbers by ___. If we don’t hear otherwise from you, by ___, we will have to consider you a no and will miss you at the wedding.”

As far as guests purchasing vouchers for stores other than where you are registered, that is their perogative. The registry is simply a guideline, it is not mandatory. In the US there are websites where you can trade gift cards. I am sure there is something like that in the UK. Otherwise, they will come in handy for something.

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