Post # 1
This is my first vent on here so I hope everyone is kind! 🙂
Why don’t people RSVP?! Blehh! We’re getting married in 4 Saturdays and its probably been my biggest pet-peeve of the entire planning process. Even our good friends who are getting married in December haven’t even cared to send their RSVP. They’re finally starting to trickle in after a bit of friendly reminding, but it’s just so frustrating. A lot of people have just assumed we know they’re coming but as a bride in a new country (I moved to the UK from the US in July!) I’m stuck in my traditional ways of, “Just send the flipping card!” Lol.
However, there are a few guests who won’t return calls/texts asking for their RSVP. Should we politely continue to remind them or just not include them on the list?
Secondly.. we didn’t include our gift registry information at the request of my mother. Fair enough! I personally don’t see anything wrong with it but everyone has their different opinions on it. Instead we included a link to our wedding website that has all the information on there. However, I don’t think anyone paid attention as we’ve heard from my Mother-In-Law that people were mentioning getting us vouchers for a place other than where we’ve registered. I’m beyond thankful that people are even getting us gifts in the first place, I guess my frustration lies in the 2 weeks it took us to register for the exact things we want for our new home that we’ve got our hearts set on. And even though it’s been mentioned to them, they seem to blatently ignore that’s where we’re registered at!
Just a few pre-wedding frustrations I had to air out there.. advice from my fellow brides-to-be/already married ladies?
Post # 2
Sounds like your RSVP deadline is only just approaching if you are getting married in 1 month. To be honest, unless you’re one of my best friends or a family member whose wedding I wouldn’t miss for the world, I’m probably not going to RSVP until your deadline. I probably want greater visibility into what’s going on in my life at the time, a chance to think about it, and a chance to hear whether others are planning on attending. I think you have to put yourself in your guests’ heads. People get a lot of wedding invitations and attend a lot of weddings.
As for the gifts, people can choose to buy off your registry or not. Everyone knows it’s out there. Everyone knows that the information is likely on your website. Let the chips fall where they may.
Post # 3
Hi jamb! Thanks for your response 🙂
Due to our venue needing everything to be finalized earlier than expected, we put our RSVP date to be September 20th. Which is why I’m scrambling to figure out who is attending and who isn’t! Definitely agree with putting yourself in our guests’ mind, unfourtunately some of our friends are just plain lazy /:
Post # 4
With our wedding, we got several RSVP’s after the deadline. Of the ones who didn’t rsvp by the deadline, two were out of the country visiting family when the invitation arrived, one had just changed jobs, one moved to a new place and forgot to tell us the new address, and one found out she was pregnant. You never know what’s going on in peoples’ lives when they have your invite, so give them the benefit of the doubt. If you have mutual friends/family members with these guests, maybe have them bring it up casually to see if they can get an answer. Otherwise, just keep messaging them until you get an answer.
Regarding the registry, there will always be some guests who choose not to use the registry. That is their decision, whether you like it or not. You’ve put the information out there for guests, and it’s up to them to decide how they want to give. That’s really all you can do at this point.
Post # 5
Our RSVP deadline was September 19, for our October 17 wedding. I wanted enough time in between to be able to track people down that didn’t RSVP, before I had to give the numbers to the reception venue.
Currently, we are still waiting on about 15 people.
I did reach out to a couple friends last night who I hadn’t heard from, and found out that they never got my invitation – so that was interesting to hear and the first they had mentioned it – yet knew they were invited. So, I’m resending invitations to them today and hope to hear back from them once they’re received.
Registries give people an idea of what they could buy you, but don’t necessarily have to. And, if you have a wedding website and people can view that information there – they’ll be informed on what gifts you’d prefer to give… but can still do what they want.
Post # 6
megtee: I’m not looking forward to the dreaded RSVP. Not sure why it’s so hard for everyone…
My advice for the people not responding is that they don’t want to go. I would send a quick email or message saying something like, ‘sorry you can’t make it to the wedding, but we look forward to catching up with you afterwards! :)’- always the smiley face to show you’re not mad. Lol. Then they’ll respond correcting you that they can go, or just let it go because you’ve given them an easy way out. Win Win.
Post # 7
My RSVP deadline is today!
Still waiting on about 30 people. Thankfully that’s for the second reception, which is the day after the wedding, but still.
I mean that one was easy, too, just text or call me!
Post # 8
megtee: If you are past the rsvp date, you can contact our potential guests and be more direct than just reminding them. You can tell them “Our venue requires our numbers by ___. If we don’t hear otherwise from you, by ___, we will have to consider you a no and will miss you at the wedding.”
As far as guests purchasing vouchers for stores other than where you are registered, that is their perogative. The registry is simply a guideline, it is not mandatory. In the US there are websites where you can trade gift cards. I am sure there is something like that in the UK. Otherwise, they will come in handy for something.