(Closed) RSVP help please.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s possible that those names are on the invite because that’s who the bride would need to worry about meals for.  She may be expecting to have a kid’s meal for the toddler, but obviously a chair and a meal aren’t needed for the baby. 

Since you’re wondering if the baby is invited, I assume you’d bring the baby if you could?  If so, I’d maybe check with FI’s mom or the bride’s mom to see if they’re aware of the bride’s kids policy.  I’d tell them you’re happy to leave the baby home, you just want to make sure you understood the rsvp correctly. 

Post # 4
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

You are correct that at this point your baby has not been invited. Invites should not be implied. That being said, I would also guess it’s a mistake. Maybe they weren’t aware that you had another baby? I would have your Fiance ask. Either his cousin or his aunt/uncle. Something like – “It’s totally fine if the baby isn’t invited, but I just wanted to be sure I had things correct that my toddler is invited but the baby needs to stay home.” And if they say the baby is not invited, get a sitter (although I agree that the toddler is more likely to cause a ruckus than the baby). If they say, “Oh, my bad!” then the whole family gets to go. But since it is definately unusual to invite 1 kid and not the other, I think it’s okay and a good idea to ask. And do it quickly so that you can send in your RSVP correctly.

Post # 5
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would definitely ask.  She may have just listed the people she needed a meal count for.  Having the RSVP card come back with a 4 when she needs only 3 meals might throw her off (plus the baby doesn’t need a seat)

Post # 7
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, my thought was that the guest list was made out before you had the baby, but the meal thing is a good point.  Either way, I’d contact them to make sure!

Post # 8
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I’d call and ask.

Post # 9
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2002

as i was addressing our save the dates and thinking of which names to include in our website for RSVP’S – i didnt include the kids that would be needing a meal. if they were a toddler that would sit on their own, use a plate & eat a meal – i wrote their names. i guess i assumed that my family would know their babies are welcome with their guest or +1. this is a good thread, ill definitely make sure i think of all family members when addressing our invites! 

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