- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Hi all. I sent my invites out the 1st of March with an RSVP deadline of April 10th, for our May 29th wedding. Let’s start by saying only about 30% of my friends didn’t send back the card, but whatever, I’m telling myself it’s cuz it was so cute they wanted to keep it. Anyway…
A good friend (who is local) was invited along with her boyfriend of about one year. I must admit that I don’t like him very much, but that is neither here nor there since they are together so it is right that he be invited. She has no idea I’m hot his biggest fan. She never sent in the RSVP but I KNEW she was coming as she told me about her dress, etc. About three weeks ago she told me her boyfriend might not be able to come as he had to have knee surgery sometime within a period of a month or so, and wouldn’t be mobile for at least 3 weeks afterward. I told her how sorry I was, and for her to let me know as soon as she knew for sure.
A week ago she asked me if she RSVPs for one and in the end he DOESN’T have the surgery before the wedding, can she add him. I said she could add him no later than 2 weeks before as we have to give the numbers to the caterer then and (obviously) we will have to pay for anyone who doesn’t show up. Let me add that we are having a smallish wedding. Our goal was 80 guests, and it turns out that we need a MINIMUM of 80 guests or else we get charged extra for the chef, waiters, etc. But we really want to stay as close to this number as possible as the per head is very high, and we literally can’t affort to have 90 and even 85 would throw a wrench in the budget.
So…. she writes me back and says then maybe she should RSVP for 2 but adds that “they have no control over whether he gets called in for surgery”.
I feel that she needs to tell me YES or NO no less than 11 days before, because I have no intention for paying for a person who doesn’t come. Doing this would mean that even if he DOESN’T have surgery, he wouldn’t be able to come. Saying that feels mean, but the truth is, I don’t think this guy could care less about coming to the wedding. He barely knows us. Also, this friend of mine is super-social. Very talkative and the life of the party. She will know at least 20 people there very well, ?and I know she’ll have fun time regardless. So what to do?
There is also a couple (family friends of Future ILs) who said she is coming with her husband, and MAYBE her teenaged daughter. She says 99% without. Am I correct in telling her that I need to know 100% at least 2 weeks before? Not just for the caterer, but I have to arrange the seating chart and make the board. We will have assigned seating, not just assigned tables.
There are at least 2 other couples who have not responded AT ALL. One are my friends, and they live half the time here (Rome) and half the time in London. Theya are in London now and I don’t have their London numbrs. I have sent emails asking very plainly for their responses, and…. no reply, altho they told me, (before invites were sent out) that they “thought” they’d be able to make it. Argh!!!!
Am I the only one with these issues? What would you do?