(Closed) RSVP Issues

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

For my wedding many did send back RSVP but waited a week for the slackers. Then after I would call them or send a quick text asking. Most will say, oh yes, include me, I just forgot to send rsvp. You’ll have people like that.


Post # 4
11357 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Sadly, you’ll need to contact people who haven’t contacted you.  Depending on when you need to give your caterer your final count, you may want to extend a few more days’ grace period to those who haven’t yet responded. After that, however, you will need to get in touch with any stragglers to find out if they plan to attend.

Post # 5
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@meeegz2587:  I was just wondering if it is up to us to chase people for their RSVP?

Yes, unfortunately, it does. As the hosts, you need to know how many people are coming, so your (slightly rude) guests have a good experience if they show up.


Post # 6
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Agree with PPs, unfortunately you have to do some chasing. You can’t assume someone isn’t attending! I would wait at least 3-4 days before starting to call anyone, however, because some people interpret the “please respond by” date as a deadline for them to put the response card in the mail, as opposed to the date you need to receive it by! 

Post # 7
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ugh, welcome to something every.single.bride goes through. I chased my own friends, had the parents and in-laws chase down any respective family or friends they wanted invited. So yes and no to your question – it is up to the bride/groom AND the parents to chase people down.

Post # 9
6 posts
  • Wedding: December 2011

@meeegz2587:  No reply does NOT mean they are not coming.  About a week after my RSVP deadline, I called the guests I had not head from yet.  I told them that I had received and RSVP postmarked for “their city” but the guest forgot to write their name on the card, and was wondering if it was them? Sometimes people would claim the invitation as their own and others would admit they hadn’t RSVP’d at all.  Either way, by the end of the conversation, I had the information I needed and I could blame myself (“4 different guests did this!  Clearly I should have chosen more traditional invitations”) or give the guest an “out” to claim it was their’s all along.  I hope this helps!




Post # 10
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@meeegz2587:  I would give it a few more days then track down the non-responders.  I would not assume those who didn’t RSVP aren’t attending.  It would be awful to make that assumption and then not have enough seats, food, favors, etc for those people.  Get a definitive answer for sure!

Post # 11
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@meeegz2587:  us too! I usually send the RSVP back right away so I assumed others would to….totally not the case 🙁

Post # 13
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@meeegz2587:  I wouldn’t assume. There are some cases where the post actually loses things (happens with invites, too), so just gently ask if they are coming or not.

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