(Closed) RSVP Issues… Have you ever heard of this??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Have you ever heard of this?
    Yes, you expect your guests to RSVP? HOW RUDE! : (12 votes)
    14 %
    No, his family is crazy. : (71 votes)
    84 %
    No, but now that you mention it... asking someone to send back an RSVP card is totally unreasonable! : (0 votes)
    Other (please explain) : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    1553 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    That is NOT normal.  I can understand if his parents didn’t RSVP because they assumed you knew they were coming, but extended family?  And to an Out of Town wedding? Did thay also expect you to have the ability to mindread and just know which meal they wanted?


    Post # 4
    860 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    omg i selected the wrong poll option! The one vote for the first one was me by mistake…. I think his family is crazy!

    I read it ” You expect your guests to RSVP” ….lol

    Post # 5
    46594 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I told someone else a few days ago that people can choose to take offense when the other person has done nothing offensive.

    That is certainly the case here. Perhaps all his family are mind readers?

    Post # 6
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I honestly think that RSVP’ing is a lost art.  Unless you have planned something where you understand the importance of having those concrete numbers, you kind of sluff it off.  None of my bridal party RSVP’d officially, I guess assuming their acceptance to be in the Bridal Party was their RSVP.  It is kind of strange, but I wouldn’t be offended by it; and they shouldn’t be offended by your asking.  I would just mark them all down and move ahead happily with the rest of your planning.


    EDIT:  Missed the part about meal choices, that makes it different.  They should have known you would need that, and not taken offense to being asked, IMO.

    Post # 7
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    My mother expected everyone to RSVP for my brother’s wedding (including me). I think its the right thing to do. Some of my brother’s in-laws didn’t RSVP (we had to track them down and even then it was difficult) and to me, it was unacceptable. I definitely think everyone should RSVP. How difficult is it to check off your response on a card, put it in a pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope, and stick it in the mail?

    Post # 10
    1575 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would have to sweetly reply that of course they are welcomed to attend the wedding – the RSVPs  are simply for those who wish sit at the wedding or to eat the reception. Since they can not RSVP, you will have the natural assumption that they are not interested in sitting, getting a ride to the ceremony or eating (but then again I’m evil like that and have developed a low tolerance for stupid people).


    Post # 12
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    This is the most rediculous thing I have ever heard. What you are supposed to guess that they are coming and better yet guess their meal choice.. Im so sure!! Honestly they propably put the RSVP somewhere thinking Oh I’ll do it later, and forgot, then they felt stupid when they had to be reminded. Im sorry you are going through this!! This is so frustrating.

    Post # 13
    4162 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Our RSVP date is tomorrow – I had some of my male friends ask “you know I’m coming, do I still have to send in that little card?”

    I’m still missing about 40 RSVPs and it’s peeving me off!!!!

    But that’s definitely weird!  I’d be annoyed if they did that especially since you have to choose meals!!! Mine is a buffet, so its not AS important but I’d like to know who’s coming so that I can make the seating chart and know how many favours to buy!

    Post # 15
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    That is crazy! You are definitely in the right here and they are definitely crazy (not to mention rude)! Even though it is still annoying, I can understand how people may return them late or even possibly forget, but if it was brought to their attention I would expect an immediate apology – not them getting offended! And then to do something like hang-up on you, that’s so childish! Sorry you are having to deal with this – no fun!

    Post # 16
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @seven12:I had to call back around half of the people we invited to check on their RSVP. It’s your event, you have to do more work (unfortunately). I know it is extremely annoying, and back when I had a major RSVP freak out!


    FWIW we needed meal choices, too.

    The topic ‘RSVP Issues… Have you ever heard of this??’ is closed to new replies.

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