(Closed) RSVP Issues…Help

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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FutureMrsJohnson_:  For the sake of brevity, I will ignore your obvious bias in regards to children with developmental challenges.

What this comes down to is one simple fact-this child was not invited. You simply contact GP and tell him ” There must have been a misunderstanding. The invitation was for the two of you. We are unable to accomodate extra guests. If this means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding”.

Post # 3
Member
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

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FutureMrsJohnson_:  How old is the child in question? If they’re young enough that they can’t stay home alone (which I’m guessing is the case) you’ll need to realize that by disinviting the child they probably wont be able to come, hence why they assumed the child was invited.  Also, why are you assuming that they wouldn’t behave and/or that their guardians wouldn’t know how to properly handle it if they did act out? It seems like maybe there’s more backstory here?

That being said, if you’re ok with that possiblity, then simply call them and let them know that unfortunately there isn’t room for an additional person to be added (even a pint sized one). 

Post # 6
Member
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

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FutureMrsJohnson_:  If you don’t want him there, simply call GPa and tell him you’re sorry you can’t accomodate the child and understand if that means they can’t make it.  

Do you have a reason to believe the child will “run wild” or misbehave? Just because they’re passive doesn’t mean they wont remove him from the church if he starts fussing… this isn’t their first rodeo, unless you have a reason to believe it will be a problem, I’d give them the benefit of the doubt, how much of a disruption can one child really make? He’s old enough to understand his actions and the situations he’s in, so I don’t even think it would be that big of an issue if he has something to occupy him (just like any child)

Post # 8
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

It sounds like you will essentially be uninviting them if you turn this child away. While I get that you did not invite him and do not know him, it may be very difficult for them to leave this child whose care they have been entrusted with to someone else (or if they would even have someone trustworthy to leave him with). I think you should wait for your father to call you back, as this may imact his relationship with them as well as yours. 

Post # 9
Member
7534 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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FutureMrsJohnson_:  You knew GPa and GPWife were the caregivers for this child when you invited them to attend your wedding right? Did you not consider what would happen to the child considering their special needs if you extended an invite to guests from another country?

 

Post # 10
Member
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

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FutureMrsJohnson_:  If it’s just a safety concern, I think you’re fine in trusting his care providers to not let him die or get injured at your wedding reception.  It’s really not that hard to keep a child away from a cliff or pond if needed.  

It’s your choice if he gets to come, he’s not crashing your wedding, but you need to realize that by excluding him you’re likely excuding GPa and GPaWife as well.  It sucks, but who is more important to you, these two or those people you’ve already excluded? 

Post # 12
Member
387 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s nice that you’ll welcome this child who has had a hard life. You may be pleasantly surprised by his behavior, and, if not, you’ll be very busy with all of your guests, and probably won’t be bothered too much. 

I also think it’s very cool that they’re traveling so far to celebrate your marriage. Congrats!

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