(Closed) RSVP madness…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
23597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@peachacid:  Isn’t that the truth!  That’s great that you’ve accounted for this happening though.  Our guests at least contacted either Darling Husband or myself to ask if they could bring an extra guest, but I’m pretty surprised at how ballsy people are with their RSVPs!

Post # 4
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I got one where the friend decided to add an extra guest (even though she was given the option in her invite and turned it down) AFTER the RSVPs were due!! Grrrrr  People are just not respectful of the wedding invite ettiquete anymore!

Post # 5
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@peachacid:  Wow… yeah my mother wants to make a rule limiting guests, I would ideally like that, but good luck to us! Ha!

Post # 7
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@pengoala:  I agree! I think there should be PSAs about how much it costs to feed someone at a wedding hahaha. Maybe if people knew how expensive they were they’d be less concerned about bringing someone to tag along. 


My fiance just told me yesterday that one of our guy friends who is girlfriend-less and recently moved out of state would like to bring his brother as a +1, even though we didn’t give him a +1 to begin with… If we have room I might not mind, but I won’t know for sure until closer to the date.


No offense, but we are having a very initimate wedding and I’d feel a bit akward about paying for a meal for someone I do not know on my wedding day. Maybe that’s just me? Lol.


Post # 8
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I told my BMs that they would bring a date. It was totally up to them.  Their date could be their sister for all I cared.  I know you have a lot more fun at weddings when you have friends or you SO there so I am letting them.  They even asked me if they could.  But for a regular guest, nope.  If it is addressed to you then only you may come.

Post # 9
3229 posts
Sugar bee

I had a very small wedding. Of those I invited, 35 came. Mother-In-Law informally invited 9 others but we “knew” about it. One of them invited his Girlfriend (we like her but not even our friends were invited AND he wasn’t officially invited anyway). Good thing we had a buffet and no assigned seating. Also good thing we didn’t pay for the wedding! My in laws did.

Post # 10
1696 posts
Bumble bee

I have been told, right here on the Bee, that “etiquette is all pretty much outdated nowadays” and that “the rules aren’t really rules anymore because nobody* follows them” and that “it’s no wonder that all the etiquette-mavens at the Bee are from the over-forty crowd.”

So … hmmm … yes. It must really bite to belong to a generation where your peers think that the rules of etiquette don’t apply to them. I hope you find at least a few exceptions to that trend. Certainly, I’ve noticed a few exceptions here on the Bee, but of course they are not the posters who come here to the Etiquette Board to post about how obsolete etiquette is.

Good luck with the rest of your replies!

*apparently, I’m nobody.

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