Post # 1
Help Bees Please!
I’m so over it. I was thinking that the invites were so easy to make, with our situation boy what I wrong! So I must tell you, so that I may get concrete answers.It’s a destination wedding. We are allowing kids at the ceremony, then we are having a “kids reception party” at our house with sitters which is about 1/2 mile for the reception venue. Our reception is adults only, at least that is what we are hoping to have but we are getting awful remarks from people. We don’t know how to incorporate or include this information on the invite, do we do it after the location and then when you say….Reception to follow?
Here comes the big question, because of that…..How do we word the RSVP’s?
I’ve looked at other posts, and I like the ones where people have written ..”we have reserved _ in your honour, _ of _ attending” but will this be okay with the kids reception part? Or are we thinking too hard? Any thoughts are welcome. Thanks.
Post # 3
You can put “Adult only reception….”. Get your guests to put the names of those attending so you know for sure they are all adults. If someone adds a child, just let them know it’s no kids.
Post # 4
Sorry I can’t be much help. But I wanted to note that I have been invited to “adult only receptions” but they meant the ceremony as well. The ceremony & reception were at the same location though. I was wondering one thing, how are the kids going to get to the party at your house after the ceremony?
Maybe you can put ___ of 3 guests attending ceremony
____ of 2 guests attending reception
Post # 5
I honestly think you’re going to have a LOT of push back from expecting parents to drop off kids with unfamiliar sitters. And where do you draw the line? What’s a ‘kid’? Would a 13 year old be happy at a separate function with babies? A 15 year old? 17 year old? Technically they’re still kids.
Post # 6
Well the ceremony and reception are on the same location.
@KristenGettingMarried: The sitters will be cousins of the grooms who used to own and run summer camps, child care, and are educated on, basically, caring for kids. So they know how to take care of kids. Most of the kids will be from the grooms side. I called my families with kids to see if it was something that they were willing to do or if they didn’t feel comfortable with it before we made the decision of really sticking to an all adult reception. We have size constraints and have about 20 kids between the ages of 3-13 which is what the cuttoff is. We don’t want all those kids running around, we want all ages (younger adults and parents) to have fun.
@yellowshoe: We are still trying to figure that part out. We might have the sitters drive a big van with all the kids but I feel that it’s awkward. The parents can drop off the kids since the house is less than 1/2 mile away which is what I would rather happen to encourage the parents if they feel uneasy at any time, they know they can check on the kids when ever they want to.
Post # 7
How many kids/invites are we talking about? (The ones that have kids).
Just curious – but, why do you want them at the ceremony?
What I would do is word your wedding invites as an adult only affair.
On the invite put: Adult Reception to Follow
On the response card put: ____ seats reserved in your honor – and fill out the number
On the evelopes put the adult names only.
Then, I would personally communicate with the parents what the arrangements are. Tell them they are welcome to bring their kids to the ceremony, and what you are planning for childcare. Tell them you need to know by “X” date if they want to partake in the childcare – and tell them what you are planning (how many sitters, what types of activities, where it will be in proximity to the reception, etc).
Post # 8
@oracle: We have maybe 10 families with kids that would go to the sitters. Like I said it’s a destination wedding. We will be going down to FL from MD and both our immediate families are here. I have family coming from TX and groom has family in FL too. We know that they won’t go down without their kids so we thought the reception is only 4 hours, which we figured isn’t too bad for them to be away from their kids who will be taken care of while they hopefully have fun. We are very close with the families and we invested a lot in the photography. We want to have a whole group picture where the kids are included. People think that we must hate the kids or something but we have taken so many measures to make sure that everyone is comfortable instead of being a “Bridezilla” and saying it’s my wedding no kids allowed…..then we would only have 50 people and that’s not what we want either. We are only provided with 80 chairs and we have 120 people, 100 adults+20 kids so cutting out the kids will help us a lot.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
It could be cute if you made a separate invitation to the kids, for “their” reception. This wouldn’t have to be fancy like the other invites. Instead of being excluded from the reception, they have another special party to go to.
Since it’s only 10 families, it might be easiest to call each Mom and explain your plans. We’re having a no kids ceremony & reception, and I’ve told the out of town Moms that we can help out with finding a babysitter. So far, everyone (except of course SIL-yeah, family drama!) has been fine with it.
Post # 10
In this case, I would put “Adult reception to follow” on the invitation.
I would separate the responses from adults and children
We have reserved __ seats in your honor
___ of _____ will be attending
___ children will be attending the reception for children under 13
I would enclose a separate card giving the information you have shared with us about the childcare providers, transportation choices, distance form venue etc.
Post # 11
@Saramina329: ah! totally missed the part about it being a DW! I really think communication is key. If these families are planning to travel to your wedding, I can understand the expectation that their kids would be included in the reception. You need to talk to them to let them know what your expectations are and how you desire the events to play out. Talk to them about any concerns they have, etc. I think most people are understanding at the requests of the bride and groom, but they have to taper their expectations as well (especially since they are assuming all are included).
Post # 12
@oracle: How about you put on the invitation
Adults Only Reception
Childrens Reception will be provided at ___ location
on the RSVP Card, I would put
_____ number of adults attending
_____ number of children attending
You may want to consider/say something about transportation from the ceremony for the children will be provided. Hope this idea helps
Post # 13
@LovebirdsSC: I really love this suggestion. this one combines the good parts of the ideas into one and it doesn’t seem confusing. Thank you very much.
@oracle: We have spoken to the families with children but I guess we have to do it again since a lot of them are assuming things instead of asking us. I would love to do an invitation for the kid’s reception but I’m afraid that would put up way too high expectations as to what we are going to include for the kids.
Thanks again everyone. This has been very helpful.
Post # 14
This is the wording we used on ours:
We are requesting an adult only reception. Thank you for your support and understanding.
In your situation maybe you could put an asterik (*) after the first sentence and then include at the very bottom:
*There will be a kids reception held at Location/Address. Please visit <wedding website> for more information.
And on the website list details of who will be babysitting the kids, what age of kids should go to the kids reception and what age can attend the adult reception.
Good luck! This was a tricky one for us to do (and in the end we compromised a bit), so I can understand your stress.
Post # 15
@saramina there are some great ideas on this thread… we have been having some issues with RSVP’s and was talking to my dad about it today. He told me a story about a wedding he went to ( a destination wedding) where it wasn’t stated ( at least clearly to him at the time) that the wedding was open to everyone but the recpetion was adult only. So my mom had to stay at the hotel with my two sisters while my dad went to the recption. So whatever you do just make sure everyone knows what the expectations are.
Post # 16
My wedding was quasi-destination (3hr drive from where most of the guests live; most people booked at least one night of lodging in the wedding region).
We had a bbq the night before and a brunch the following day. We were fine with people bringing kids to the bbq and brunch but there were just way too many attached to our guest list to accommodate them at the wedding reception. The invitation suite included the main/formal wedding invitation plus a second smaller invitation to the bbq and brunch.
On the RSVP card, we had space at the top for a general accept / decline (or, in our case, “can hardly wait” / “wll be there in spirit”). Then we wrote, “Children are welcome at the barbecue and brunch. Please indicate how many guests will attend each event.” Then we listed the three events, and we also listed the menu selections for the reception.
Maybe you could do something similar, and then enclose an additional invitation insert with the kids reception information.