(Closed) RSVP nightmare, Please help.

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

You can put “Adult only reception….”.  Get your guests to put the names of those attending so you know for sure they are all adults.  If someone adds a child, just let them know it’s no kids.  

Post # 4
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Sorry I can’t be much help. But I wanted to note that I have been invited to “adult only receptions” but they meant the ceremony as well. The ceremony & reception were at the same location though. I was wondering one thing, how are the kids going to get to the party at your house after the ceremony?

Maybe you can put ___ of 3 guests attending ceremony

                  ____ of 2 guests attending reception

Post # 5
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I honestly think you’re going to have a LOT of push back from expecting parents to drop off kids with unfamiliar sitters.  And where do you draw the line?  What’s a ‘kid’?  Would a 13 year old be happy at a separate function with babies?  A 15 year old?  17 year old?  Technically they’re still kids.  

Post # 7
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

How many kids/invites are we talking about?  (The ones that have kids).

Just curious – but, why do you want them at the ceremony?

What I would do is word your wedding invites as an adult only affair.

On the invite put:  Adult Reception to Follow

On the response card put:  ____ seats reserved in  your honor – and fill out the number

On the evelopes put the adult names only.

Then, I would personally communicate with the parents what the arrangements are.  Tell them they are welcome to bring their kids to the ceremony, and what you are planning for childcare. Tell them you need to know by “X” date if they want to partake in the childcare – and tell them what you are planning (how many sitters, what types of activities, where it will be in proximity to the reception, etc).


Post # 9
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

It could be cute if you made a separate invitation to the kids, for “their” reception. This wouldn’t have to be fancy like the other invites. Instead of being excluded from the reception, they have another special party to go to.

Since it’s only 10 families, it might be easiest to call each Mom and explain your plans. We’re having a no kids ceremony & reception, and I’ve told the out of town Moms that we can help out with finding a babysitter. So far, everyone (except of course SIL-yeah, family drama!) has been fine with it.

Post # 10
46415 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

In this case, I would put “Adult reception to follow” on the invitation.

I would separate the responses from adults and children

We have reserved __   seats in your honor

___ of _____ will be attending


___  children will be attending the reception for children under 13


I would enclose a separate card giving the information you have shared with us about the childcare providers, transportation choices, distance form venue etc.

Post # 11
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Saramina329:  ah! totally missed the part about it being a DW!  I really think communication is key.  If these families are planning to travel to your wedding, I can understand the expectation that their kids would be included in the reception.  You need to talk to them to let them know what your expectations are and how you desire the events to play out.  Talk to them about any concerns they have, etc.  I think most people are understanding at the requests of the bride and groom, but they have to taper their expectations as well (especially since they are assuming all are included).


Post # 12
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@oracle:  How about you put on the invitation

Adults Only Reception                                                                              

Childrens  Reception will be provided at ___ location

on the RSVP Card, I would put

_____ number of adults attending

_____ number of children attending


You may want to consider/say something about transportation from the ceremony for the children will be provided.  Hope this idea helps

Post # 14
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

This is the wording we used on ours:

We are requesting an adult only reception.  Thank you for your support and understanding.

In your situation maybe you could put an asterik (*) after the first sentence and then include at the very bottom:

*There will be a kids reception held at Location/Address. Please visit <wedding website> for more information.

And on the website list details of who will be babysitting the kids, what age of kids should go to the kids reception and what age can attend the adult reception.

Good luck!  This was a tricky one for us to do (and in the end we compromised a bit), so I can understand your stress.

Post # 15
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@saramina there are some great ideas on this thread… we have been having some issues with RSVP’s and was talking to my dad about it today. He told me a story about a wedding he went to ( a destination wedding) where it wasn’t stated ( at least clearly to him at the time) that the wedding was open to everyone but the recpetion was adult only. So my mom had to stay at the hotel with my two sisters while my dad went to the recption. So whatever you do just make sure everyone knows what the expectations are.

Post # 16
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My wedding was quasi-destination (3hr drive from where most of the guests live; most people booked at least one night of lodging in the wedding region).

We had a bbq the night before and a brunch the following day.  We were fine with people bringing kids to the bbq and brunch but there were just way too many attached to our guest list to accommodate them at the wedding reception.  The invitation suite included the main/formal wedding invitation plus a second smaller invitation to the bbq and brunch.

On the RSVP card, we had space at the top for a general accept / decline (or, in our case, “can hardly wait” / “wll be there in spirit”).  Then we wrote, “Children are welcome at the barbecue and brunch.  Please indicate how many guests will attend each event.”  Then we listed the three events, and we also listed the menu selections for the reception.

Maybe you could do something similar, and then enclose an additional invitation insert with the kids reception information.

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