(Closed) Rsvp not grrrr

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Boobiessmiles:  Eh, you can’t uninvite them technically but they are being pretty rude. Send the follow up email concerning their rsvp and explain it’s important for your numbers to have a hard yes or no. If they  say no, don’t count them. If they are going to crash sending them an univite won’t deter them unfortunately…

Post # 4
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hell yeah you can say that!  It’s way past the deadline, you’ve tried several times to contact them… at some point you have to say “sorry, but final numbers are going in and I’m counting you out.”  You’ve given them plenty of chances and lots of extra time.  Final numbers have to go in at some point and you can’t wait forever.

Post # 5
47277 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is frustrating when people don’t  show you the courtesy you showed them when you extended an invitation.

It is perfectly acceptable to follow up and, in most cases necessary, so you can confirm numbers for your caterer.

You may get better results with a personal phone call. “Hi____, just calling to see if you are able to make the reception or not. We have to confirm numbers to the caterer today. We understand that you may have other obligations but will have to assume that you are unable to attend and will miss you if you can’t confirm today.”

If you can’t talk to them in person, leave a message (it’s easier that way!).

If you normally communicate by text or email, you could use the same wording.

Post # 6
10452 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

How annoying! I’d just send one final text/email whatever saying that you had to submit final numbers tomorrow and if you don’t hear back by X time you count them as a No. 

Post # 7
13848 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s annoying, but it’s also rude to uninvite people.  I would contact the non-responders once more and end with a line saying that continued silence by X date means a no, just like Pinkmoon suggested.

Post # 9
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Try the following.  Figure out the very last date they can tell you.  Then say “We really need to know before x date.  If we don’t hear from you by then we’ll have to assume you won’t be able to join us.”


It puts the ball in their court and you’re clear about what you need and the result.  It should take some stress out because you know if you don’t hear by them by then, then you can put down they’re not coming.

Post # 10
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

As a Bee who had to track people down to rsvp and then ended up with 60 no shows, I would say if by the second time they haven’t responded, cross them off the list.   It’s not that hard to rsvp.  I understand life happens and you misplace invitations or forget and such but after the second reminder, I would let it go.  If I had every intention of attending someones wedding but forgot about the rsvp deadline and they contacted me about it, I would jump on it right away before I forget again. 

I’m assuming those that do not have the wedding on the top of their to do list will string you along.

Post # 11
8992 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

When is the AHR? Because if it isn’t until December/January (after your wedding date of 12/12/12) then asking them to RSVP by 30th September is pretty far off. Some people would not be able to tell you that far off if they can make it or not. I mean that is three months off and unfortunately some people see an AHR as just a party and not the same as a wedding reception.

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