(Closed) RSVP online for a formal wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Well, my wedding is a semi-formal cocktail style, so it may not be as formal as yours. But I’m doing this!!! I think what could help, is by having your font look very formal, a script-y kind of font. And maybe you could add a note at the bottom, where “Reception to follow” is normally. Have it read “Formal reception to follow” or something similar? Use formal language too. Instead of something like “RSVP online at ourwebsite.com!” do “The favor of your response can be given at ourwedding.com. Please respond by xxxx date.” etc, etc.

Post # 4
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Personally, I don’t think this needs any particular level of tact in order to prevent people from misinterpreting the level of formality. If I received an inviation and it was written that online RSVP was an option, I would not judge the level of formality on that. We live in the digital age, afterall. It only seems natural to offer online RSVP, and I see no implication that an event would be any less formal because of it.

I think your invitations, moreso than the availability of an online RSVP, will set the tone and show your guests the level of formality. If you have a quirky invitation that is on the silly side with maybe cartoony images or something, it could be interpretted as a little bit casual; any invitation which had this sort of look, in my opinion, should specify the dress expectation (screw ettiquette; I see nothing wrong with a simple “Formal Attire Encouraged” or “Black Tie Prefferred” or something. If the invitation is very traditional and used formal language, I think that would set more of a formal tone where specifying the dress would not be as necessary because guests could easily pick up the vibe.

As for how to tell guests about online RSVP, I plan on having my invitations read, “For your convenience, you may RSVP online at http://www.YourWeddingWebsite.com [optionally, you could say “you may RSVP online by emailing us at [email protected]“] or by returning the enclosed RSVP card.”

Post # 6
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I used online RSVPs to save money on stamps and to use less paper. Totally worth it ! =) 

Post # 7
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@PinkBubbles:  I am probably going to to put it on the invitation AND the RSVP card. It probably seems silly, but people can be both forgetful and unobservant. There will be people who skim your invitation for the date and location, overlook all the other writing and go straight to the RSVP card and fill it in without reading that either. So the more places you can put a gentle reminder, the better in my opinion.

Post # 8
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I had a friend request RSVPs online and I was able to tell that the event was formal because the invitation was super fancy! I would also maybe make a note about the attire or level of formality in small font on the bottom of the RSVP card or invitation. Like how peole write Black Tie or Black Tie Optional.

Post # 9
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t know that I would do both an online RSVP and a card in the invitation.  It could get confusing and hard for you to keep track of whose coming and whose not.  Most wedding websites give you the option to give guests information about the ceremony, reception, etc.  You could add a blurb in one of those sections about the attire that you would like them to wear.  As far as having online RSVP’s, I don’t see any issue with this at all.  I am personally using online RSVP’s and I’m loving it!  Plus, most of my guests have commented on how great our wedding website is and how nice and convenient it has been to do everything online.  Just choose a template for your site that is a little more fancy if you’re trying to continue the look and feel of a more formal wedding.  I don’t think you’ll lose the formality you’re going for by doing this 🙂

ETA: Instead of an actual RSVP card, I just included a small card that stated “The favor of a reply is requested by xx date.” and then directed them to our web address.

Post # 10
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My wedding is formal. We have chosen to have RSVPs online only. We had formal wording on our formal invitations – and then a line at the bottom asking them to RSVP online. The only thing I would say is to get a formalish website address like http://www.jackandjill.com rather than a really long one (like http://www.weddingsonline.com/2013/jackandjill.html)

We included a postal address in casesomeonewhat’s uncomfortable RSVPing online (but c’mon, it’s 2013!). So far, we’ve had no issues – everyone has RSVPd online without complaint!

Post # 11
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@SweetMelissa429:  I’d be cautious about only doing online RSVP. I think that, depending on the person and who they are inviting, an entirely online RSVP could be messy business.

Think about older guests (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc). Not to be age-ist, but older individuals are not as tech savvy (most of the time), and they could have a very difficult time if RSVP is online. And surprisingly, even some younger individuals aren’t the most clever with technology.

I would consider all of your guests before opting for an entirely online RSVP.

Post # 12
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@LostInWonderland:  That’s a good point and this is something we took into account when deciding to do this.  All of our older guests have email, most have Facebook, etc. so we knew that this would not be an issue for us, but that’s not the case with everyone.  But if you are able to work it out, from my experience, it’s definitely worth it.  We saved quite a bit on postage and I’ve loved getting the positive feedback from our guests about our website.  It would just depend on your audience.

Post # 14
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

For those of you who did do/are doing online RSVP, what route did you choose?

Are you/did you instruct your guests to email you? Contact form on your wedding website? Google Drive?

I’m going the Google Drive route. I have it set up on my wedding website (which is a tad bit infuriating since Google doesn’t let you customise much, so the colours don’t exactly match) so that everyone who RSVPs has their information input into spreadsheet accessible anywhere I need it. Plus, you can add in names in the doc itself so if people do mail responses, you can add it yourself.

Post # 15
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

All are great ideas!

Post # 16
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee

I did a combination of both. I gave the elderly people reply cards and envelopes and then used the same repply card to write instructions for online rsvp for everyone else. Saved me time and money and brought people to our wedding website where they could view registry information, directions, details about the wedding etc..

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