(Closed) RSVP over phone or online? yay or nay?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is an phone/online RSVP tacky?
    Yes! Stick with the traditional RSVP cards. : (15 votes)
    33 %
    No way! Yay for new technology! : (28 votes)
    62 %
    Other! explain below : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Not at all! Go with the feel of your wedding, and what works for you and your guests! Fiance and I went to two weddings last year, and I loved the RSVP for both.

    One had a postage-paid postcard to fill out and mail back, but it also had space for drawing a picture or writing a song request, and the bride and groom put them all on display at the reception. It was really cute, but you’ve got the cost of paper, return postage, etc.

    The other was online only RSVP. It took all of two seconds, and we RSVP’d within ten minutes of getting the invite in the mail! The cost? Free!

    Post # 4
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m most likely going to do this as well. For a super formal wedding I’d say it’s odd, but for a less formal event I don’t see the problem. Most people don’t send back the RSVP cards anyway.

    I’ve found in planning that no matter what you do, there’s a chance it could offend someone- rules and etiquette varies by location and generation and personal values, so do what is best for you.

    ETA: I will warn you, the title of your thread and your poll are asking opposite questions- so your results may be skewed if people vote according to your thread title.

    Post # 5
    Member
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @eeestrad: We did this – both online and a phone #. We only had 2 people rsvp over the phone – the rest used our website with no problems at all. We had a few people comment on how it was a great paper saver!

    Post # 6
    Member
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @eeestrad: We did this – both online and a phone #. We only had 2 people rsvp over the phone – the rest used our website with no problems at all. We had a few people comment on how it was a great paper saver!

    Post # 8
    Member
    741 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Personally, I am offering both online and by mail RSVP. I’m sending a lot of my invitations abroad, so if it’s online I get a faster turn around (don’t have to wait a month to get it back) and it’s free, as I can’t buy the stamps for everyone. However, my grandma and a few other people do not have / use the internet often, so I’m providing an extra envelope as an option. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    258 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    If it makes sense for you, go for it.  Especially if it’s not an overly formal affair.

    We used RSVP postcards, which was great for us because they included head count numbers(for larger families), meal choices, dietary sensitivities and return addresses.  So any time we needed to count vegetarian meals, check a name spelling of a guests date(So good for this), or their address, etc. the information was right there without any other hunting around.  So I liked that. 

    I would RSVP at someone’s wedding website over the phone for sure.  But that’s just me. I love to see peoples wedding sites. 🙂

    The problem I see with phone RSVP-ing, is that you need to make sure to write everything down. Otherwise, 2 weeks later, you might forget who declined, what a guests dates name is, which meal they picked, or who in a family is coming.  All this is easy to fix, you just have to call them and ask. But that’s also more work for you and is less organized.  Just pointing this out as something to try and address with the phone RSVP’s.  Though website RSVP’s will probably be popular.  It’s like more of a serious commitment or something.  🙂

    It’s your wedding, so do it whatever way makes the most sense to you.  🙂 

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @eeestrad: My only concern for a phone/email RSVP for a destination wedding is that people might not view it as much of a commitment.  If one called up a friend and was like, “yeah, I’ll definitely be there”, they may change their mind without calling back to tell you, or feel like it’s ok to change at the last minute.  This still happens with traditional RSVP cards, but to me there’s just something more official about about filling in an RSVP that makes people understand that people are counting on the responses to be correct for catering/rental purposes.

    Post # 11
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

     I say go for it! That’s what we’ll be doing, my family doesn’t follow ‘etiquette’ rules anyhow so I’m sure they won’t mind! They wouldn’t send the RSVP cards back but I think they will definitely either call or go to our website. We’re using weddingwire.com and it has been great so far!

     

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Half of our invitations were sent internationally so we had everyone RSVP by e-mail, and it was hugely succesful.  A few people that didn’t have e-mail (grandparents) just called to let us know.

    I also found it was easier to keep track of RSVP’s because I just created a new folder in my e-mail and placed every RSVP there.  Also, it was easier to inform people and answer questions they had by e-mail than by phone or in person (no, sorry you can’t bring an extra 3 people!!!).

    Post # 13
    Member
    3255 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I personally would have gotten stressed with an influx of phone calls while trying to juggle planning my wedding, working, etc. I would think about that before printing your invitations. 

    We had traditional cards and an RSVP section on our website. We had a really great turn-out of responders by having both options. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    11356 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    What I always say is that you have the rest of your life and all kinds of other events (birthday parties, dinner parties, etc.) to make use of modern technology for responding to invitations.  I would allow your guests to mail their responses to you.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m a really shy person and I would be put off if there was only a phone# for the RSVP as I generally hate talking on the phone. However if there was an internet option that would be just fine with me.

    Post # 16
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I say go for it….this is what we are doing.  We set up a wedding specific email and gave out our home phone number for the rsvp.  My FI’s cousin did this and they said that it worked out great!!!

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