(Closed) RSVP Pain

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I had problems with family remembering to RSVP too. I had Father-In-Law delicately call them and get confirmation they were coming. He did it under the guise of calling to socialise (something he does often) and then worked it into conversation. 

You aren’t being unreasonable at all!

Post # 3
Member
13756 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You could send them a casual email or text asking if they’re coming so you can make sure there’s enough food, rather than a pointed phone call.  If it were me, though, I’d just call and demand a response (obviously with nicer words).

Post # 4
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Yes, contact them. Ours took FOREVER and we are talking immediate family. I know it’s not as important to them but between people not RSVPing and the EXCUSES they give it drove me crazy lol.

Post # 5
Member
7477 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

It is definitely not a bridezilla move to expect RSVPs. If they don’t RSVP on time I don’t see any problem with having your Fiance call them and ask if they are coming. If they act surprised he can just say that you guys wanted to make sure you had enough food/seats for everyone.

Post # 6
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’d have your fiance call each of these people after your rsvp deadline is up to verify if they are coming or not. A simple “our caterer needs a firm count this week” should be sufficient. His family, he should deal. He should also say to his mom “gosh, mom. I’ve never heard of people not responding or sending in their rsvp. I think we’d assume they aren’t coming if we don’t get a response”. That alone will probably prompt several more returned rsvps, as I’m betting your fmil will spread the word!!!

And, just to add to your rsvp pain, a lot of people seem to consider the rsvp date as the “mail-by” date. The rsvps will likely trickle in for a week or two after your deadline. And, it will all be ok. It’s like childbirth- over time the wedding stress memories fade…

Post # 7
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I am so so so sick of using the “it’s just how we do things!” excuse to be rude. They are being insanely rude, your Future Mother-In-Law is enabling it.

You are WELL within your rights to hunt people down.

Post # 8
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

If you recieve an inviation in the mail, you need to RSVP. I have been to two events where I didn’t recieve an invitation because well, it was assumed I was coming (bridesmaid and brother in law’s wedding). 

If you sent them an invitation, you should totally expect them to send an RSVP. 

Post # 10
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

Frankly I feel it is rude on the guest’s part if they do not RSVP by mail. You paid for the invitations, the RSVP cards, envelopes, (and I’m guessing postage) – they should take the 1 minute it takes to check they are attending, enclose the RSVP in the envelope, seal it and stick it in their mailbox. Or RSVP on a website or via email which would take ….30 seconds?

Does everyone think that invitations cost nothing? We all have nothing better to do than mail out invitations with all this other “stuff” included just so we can flush money down the drain?

I was a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding and as SOON as I got my invitation and RSVP I checked I was attending and sent that RSVP back in the mail.

Post # 11
Member
12473 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

cassidyrue :  You two just have to make it clear to Future Mother-In-Law that you can’t operate that way and that you fully expect people to do the polite thing and reply to you directly. If they don’t then you will be making phone calls. If you called someone to invite them somewhere you’d expect the common courtesy of an answer, right? This is no different. 

The most correct method is in the same format as the invitation itself, but any reply, including verbal, is an RSVP as long as it’s a definite answer. 

Post # 12
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’ll never understand why people can’t just send back the pre-addressed, pre-stamped RSVP card that is sent weeks in advance.

Post # 13
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

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